064: O YES, THAT’S THE SPOT!

In this episode of ONE Extraordinary Marriage Podcast Tony & Alisa dig deep into orgasming so that you can have one.

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Alisa shares her experience of not having orgasm early in her marriage and faking orgasms to finish the deed.

Through communicating her desires to have one, self exploration with Tony, and showing Tony what feels good to her she is now able to have mind blowing SEX!

You can have the same.  Listen as Tony & Alisa give you ideas to help you achieve the orgasm you always wanted.

Resources discussed in this podcast:

What is the “G” Spot

Taking Charge of Your Fertility (Affiliate Link)

The Joy of Sex (Affiliate Link)

Intentional Moments

Wooden Figure Sexual Positions

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4 thoughts on “064: O YES, THAT’S THE SPOT!

  1. Thanks Tony & Alisa for your podcast. Some good information here.

    A couple notes for your listeners to help normalize:
    – according to national studies, only 40% of women report they CAN have a vaginal orgasm. If a is only trying for a vaginal orgasm they might never be successful. If they only have clitoral orgasms, they are normal.
    – in national studies, a bit less than 10% of women have not had an orgasm. Only 1/4 report “always” having an orgasm. 1/3 “usually” and 1/3 “sometimes”.
    – primary inorgasmia in men (never having an orgasm) is rare, but does occur (we work with it in our office). Secondary inorgasmia (they have had orgasms in the past, but cannot now) is more common and occurs for a variety of reasons. ED is not the only reason men do not have orgasms. All the above are treatable by a trained and skilled clinician.
    – in addition to your excellent recommendation of women knowing themselves, one of the biggest predictors of orgasm for women is time spent in the sex act (due to the physiology of her body). The difference between frequency of orgasm for those who only spend 5 minutes in the sex act and those who spend 30 minutes in the sex act is huge (about 6x as many)
    – while most sex therapists currently believe that most (if not all) women have a G-spot, not all women want to find it, and some find the stimulation uncomfortable. For many women, having an orgasm is cool, but not the “apex” of the sexual experience. The connection they crave in sex can happen with, or without an orgasm or finding the G-spot.
    – Finally, a note of caution. If discovered in the playfulness of intimacy, the G-spot can be a great find for the couple. However, if the husband makes his wife an object of experimentation in demanding he find her G-spot, or if she puts unhealthy pressure on herself to find and enjoy it, they can do great damage to the heart of their sexual intimacy.

    Keep up the good work.

    Dr. Michael Sytsma – Certified Sex Therapist – http://IntimateMarriage.org

  2. Oh, no, no, no, no! If it’s not a “quickie”, and I’m going to take the time for a lovemaking session, you can bet the farm that I’m getting mine! *whip crack* 😉
    I feel very strongly that women are just as entitled to an orgasm as their husbands. Just because it’s easier for a guy, doesn’t mean that it’s “ok” for the woman to be left out. It shouldn’t be obsessed over, but if the husband really made satisfying his wife TOP priority, he’d be pleasantly surprised how much more open and receptive she’d be to having sex more often and trying new things.
    Obviously, an orgasm isn’t going to happen every single time (for either partner). So for those times maybe they should take a break and connect in other ways. Massage, warm baths, playing games…
    Sometimes taking a little break from focusing on sex is enough to get the “spark” back and her orgasms will come more easily.
    Anyway, those are just my two cents 🙂 Excellent podcast! Keep up the good work!

    • We agree with you Jenni on that both husband and wife should experience orgasms. It took us some years of marriage to figure out how that would be for Alisa, but we are so happy that we did. Not every love making session we have do we both reach this, but there is an understanding between the two of us when we don’t.

      Your suggestion of taking a step back and connecting in other ways is fantastic! Thanks for sharing those ideas with us and the ONE community.

      Glad you a enjoying the podcast and hope that you’ll be joining us for the 2nd Annual 7 Days of Sex Challenge in May.

      Tony