Every week emails come into our inbox and the #1 area couples want to improve is their communication.
The reason is that when you and your spouse can effectively express yourselves everything else tends to fall into place.
When there are communication challenges you can be left feeling isolated, lonely, sad, heartbroken and disheartened with your marriage.
If you are the one looking to fix the communication or if you are the one who has been resistant to working on the communication you’ve come to the right place.
These 10 Reasons will help you learn why time is of the essence and why NOW is the time to take action in your marriage.
Let’s get started!
Marriage is Much More Than a Hollywood Blockbuster
Yep, it is.
You don’t get the luxury of having screenwriters write you the perfect words to whisper to your spouse, or the perfect lighting and the stage to have intimate talks with your spouse.
No, you live in the real world where little things (and not so little things) like work, kids, and other obligations have gotten in the way of the two of you having the deep conversations.
1. Drift Happens
When your conversations never go deeper, when you never spend time talking about what is below the surface, it’s easy to feel like the person that you sit across the table from or share a bed with has become a stranger.
2. Tired of the Masks
It’s hard to always be wearing masks, to always be hiding your true feelings or pretending to be someone or something that you are not. When you are wearing masks, you aren’t dealing with your true feelings. The situations don’t disappear. In fact they can often become worse the longer the two of you go without talking, really talking, to one another.
3. You Want to Be Heard
You have a deep need to be heard, to feel validated. When communicating is a focus in your marriage the two of you to be able to experience this. Ineffective communication patterns, such as, interrupting, shutting down, dismissing comments need to come to an end.
4. It Leads to More
When you revive the communication in your marriage and, by extension, your emotional intimacy this can lead to a stronger desire to be physically intimate as well.
5. Money Matters
There are a lot of emotions tied up in how you and your spouse deal with your money. When the conversations about money are pushed aside, relegated to the once a year talk, or not discussed at all this will lead to some big problems because money does matter in your relationship.
6. Time Is Running Out
You only have a finite amount of time. If you choose not to connect emotionally you may have only so much time together. Who wants to be in a relationship where their spouse does not talk to them?
7. Rediscover One Another
Find joy in one another through shared experiences. Doing this creates new memories which you can talk about together and with others. As you grow, try new experiences that you have been wanting to explore but have never brought up to one another.
8. Your Words Don’t Work
Extreme absolutes and statements with a negative focus are complete conversation killers. Your spouse tunes you out the minute you say one of these phrases and the rest of the time you are talking to the wall.
9. It’s An Emergency
Don’t wait for a crisis. It’s better to be proactive in your relationship than to wait for things to “get really bad”. Just OK is bad enough.
10. Rock Solid Foundation
When you have strong communication skills in your marriage the two of you have a rock solid foundation. Your marriage becomes a place where you can share your heart about anything with your spouse and there is nothing that needs to be left unsaid.
Remember in the long run, even the smallest steps can make a huge difference.
Just a few small adjustments to the interaction with your spouse, can have a tremendous compounding effect on the quality of your marriage.
Keep in mind, most married couples experience serious issues within their marriage. So don’t worry, having challenges with your marriage is normal.
What is key is that you start taking consistent, small steps to improve your interaction and behavior with your spouse. In doing so, your marriage can only get better.
One of those most crucial small steps to take is a very basic one…