12 Days of Christmas Challenge to Strengthen Your Marriage

What will your true love give to you this Christmas? With this 12 Days of Christmas Challenge, you can focus on strengthening all aspects of your marriage. 

From emotional intimacy to sexual intimacy and everything in between, Christmas is a great time to be extra intentional.

Your schedules are likely packed this time of year. But with a little effort, you can enjoy a fun and sexy challenge that brings you and your spouse closer together. 

Day 1: Write Love Letters to Each Other

On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me… a love letter! 

Intentionality is essential for every day of this challenge. But be extra attentive on Day 1 by writing your spouse a heartfelt love letter.

As the year is wrapping up, express your gratitude to your spouse. Share how much you value and appreciate them. Write about a special memory or an experience you’d like to have together in the future. This is your first chance to tap into your emotional intimacy and grow more connected with each other, even amid the chaos of the holidays. 

As the year is wrapping up, express your gratitude to your spouse. A love note shows how much you value and appreciate them.

What to include:

• Express gratitude for your spouse
• Share a special memory
• Describe a future experience you’d like together

While the challenge for Day 1 is to write love letters to each other, you can take things up a notch by incorporating this practice into the full 12 Days of Christmas Challenge. For example, leave little notes for your spouse or send flirty texts to them throughout the day. 

Day 2: Have an At-Home Spa Night 

Feeling overwhelmed and disconnected during the holiday season? 

An at-home spa night is a great way to connect with your spouse and focus on physical intimacy.

Set the mood in your bedroom and really pamper each other:

• Take turns giving each other a massage
• Enjoy a relaxing bath together
• Light candles and use essential oils
• Turn on soft light and a sound machine

Pay attention to the loving, non-sexual touches you share with each other. From a kiss on the neck to a gentle caress, you can get creative in how you strengthen your physical intimacy. 

Of course, an at-home spa night can set the scene for incredible sexual intimacy. Discuss your expectations with each other beforehand to ensure you’re both on the same page.

Day 3: Watch a Movie

During your 12 Days of Christmas Challenge, there are plenty of movies you can watch to bring the two of you closer together. Whether you’re watching a Christmas movie or otherwise, pop some popcorn, snuggle up on the couch, and enjoy some time alone together.

Even this simple date idea is a great way to boost recreational intimacy. You’ll create new memories together that you can look back on in the years to come. 

Day 4: Prioritize a Screen-Free Conversation  

Deep conversations with your spouse are a must! Make sure you truly take the time to talk to one another in your day-to-day lives. 

On Day 4 of the 12 Days of Christmas Challenge, make time for a distraction-free conversation:

• Put phones in another room
• Turn off the TV
• Silence all notifications

Then, dive into the conversation. You might find it easy to come up with thought-provoking questions, such as “What was the best part and hardest part of your day?” Or you might feel more confident with a resource such as TableTopics. 

With your conversation prompts in mind, talk with your spouse. Don’t rush the conversation. Instead, be present and engaged. As a result, you’ll experience stronger emotional intimacy. 

Day 5: Invest in Your Spiritual Intimacy 

Growing your spiritual intimacy should continue year-round, but you might find it difficult to carve out the time during the holidays.

For Day 5 of this challenge, take 30 minutes to strengthen your spiritual intimacy:

• Listen to a sermon
• Read a portion of Scripture
• Go through a devotional

If you don’t have any materials to help you strengthen your spiritual intimacy, go on a date to your nearest bookstore. There, the two of you can look at what resources or devotionals can help you on your spiritual journey as a couple. 

However the two of you approach spiritual intimacy, take the time to engage in something together that will strengthen your relationship. Your marriage will thank you. 

Day 6: Volunteer Together

Spread the holiday cheer by volunteering together this season!

Along with being a great way to spend time together, volunteering can be an incredibly fulfilling experience. You’ll both be creating new memories and hopefully having a lot of fun together doing so!

Whether you volunteer at your church, local food bank, or any other community organization, this part of the challenge encourages you to get out of the house with your spouse and give back.

Day 7: Do Some Holiday Baking

Another great date for the holiday season is finding a festive recipe to create. These kinds of dates can be the most fun because you are rewarded at the end with a tasty treat.

Consider baking goodies to share with your family, neighbors, or just for the two of you.

Day 8: Break Out the Board Games 

For Day 8 of the challenge, it’s time to unplug again. 

Set a time on your calendar for 30 minutes or an hour. Then, grab your favorite board game.

Board games are ideal for reconnecting with your spouse because they help limit digital distractions. Without screens, you can have fun and engage in meaningful conversation together. 

This is your time to choose a few of your favorite board games (or try out some sexy new ones!) and connect with the person in front of you. One of these games might even become a holiday tradition in your marriage! 

Day 9: Share a Romantic Meal 

A romantic meal is a simple way to connect during the busyness of the season. On Day 9:

• Cook a new recipe
• Order takeout
• Visit your favorite restaurant

You can get creative about the time, too. If dinners are too hectic, try getting breakfast or lunch together. That way, you can ensure you have time to truly reconnect without interruptions.

After strengthening your emotional intimacy, you might choose to continue your date with cuddles on the couch or romantic sex in front of the fireplace. 

Day 10: Go On a Fun Adventure

Recreational intimacy is all about having fun and making new memories together. The holidays are a perfect excuse to shake up your routine and try new things. 

For instance, check out a new restaurant, plan a cozy date, or simply plan for your next adventure. During the holidays, you can enjoy:

• Christmas lights tours
• Ice skating
• Holiday parades
• And more!

Though one or both of you might be hesitant to try new things, keep persevering! You might just discover a fun new activity to add to your holiday traditions. 

Day 11: Exchange Sexy Gifts 

As you near the end of your 12 Days of Christmas Challenge, plan a time to exchange sexy gifts with your spouse. If you have kids, ensure these gifts are hidden and saved just for your spouse’s eyes!

The best sexy gifts depend on you and your spouse:

• A new sex toy or favorite lube
• Sex furniture
• An electric fireplace for your bedroom
• A high-end sound machine

Whatever sexy gift you choose, make sure this gift is special for both of you and will help strengthen your sexual intimacy.

Day 12: Reflect and Plan

Finally, take time to reflect on the past and plan for the future.

Start by reflecting on the past year:

• What went well this year?
• What goals were met?
• What are you most grateful for?

Then, communicate your expectations or desires for the new year:

• What habits would you like to continue in your marriage?
• Are there new things you are looking forward to trying?
• How will you reach your spiritual or financial goals?

Having these conversations about the important things, from faith to finances and everything in between, is the key to starting the year with strong communication and teamwork.

Keep the Momentum Going