That’s right! After 16 years of marriage I am still madly in love with my beautiful and wonderful wife Alisa.

She’s not perfect and yet she is all mine. She has given me her heart, her soul, and her love even when I wasn’t worthy of them.

Her support on my crazy ideas (athletic, business, and family) is amazing, she has been a fantastic mom to our two kids, calls me out when I’ve pushed the limits, and most of all loves our Lord and has brought me closer to Him.

In all of that she’s only wanted to divorce me once. That was after I had taken a 4 1/2 month sojourn on the Pacific Crest Trail. Yep, I backpacked from Mexico to Canada without here. Divorce has never come up again in our marriage as we vowed at that moment to Play on the Same TEAM.

We’ve gone through a lot together over the last 16 years. Make sure to listen about our past in Episode 004 of the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Podcast because we know that if we have gone through tough times you probably have too.

In honor of my wonderful wife I bring to you 16 Reasons Why I Still Love My Wife.

1. She Makes Me Laugh

Alisa is and always be more serious than me. She said it during Laughter for the Soul and yet she makes me laugh. There are little things she does that bring a chuckle to me and that is awesome!

2. Her Eyes Sparkle

Her eyes are a window to her soul and they sparkle as we communicate and dig into our emotional intimacy. It is during these conversations that I get to witness something absolutely beautiful.

3. During Tough Times She Never Gave Up On Us

Huge, huge, huge. During the darkest valleys that we have gone through Alisa never gave up on us. Don’t get me wrong, there were tough conversations, tough situations, and nights where we didn’t want to be next to each other. Even though she always wanted our marriage to last.

4. We’ve Grown Closer Together

5 years ago we took on the 60 Days of Sex Challenge and our marriage has never been the same. Every year since then we have done a 7 Days of Sex Challenge to bring us emotionally, spiritually, and physically closer together.

5. Her Cooking Has Gotten Much Better

Frozen fish sticks, frozen pizza, bean burritos, and pasta with Rago sauce (I’m Italian) was what we ate our first few years of marriage. Talk about tough times. Over the years we have learned to cook together, which has brought enjoyment to both of us. On top of that we eat much better around here.

6. We Dream Together

Both of us dream, share those dreams and then go after them. We’ve achieved many, we’re working on some right now, and there are dreams that are just a glimmer on our horizon.

7. Sex For 60 Days

We had sex 40 out of the 60 days. That is amazing, but what’s beyond amazing is that Alisa said “Yes” after she said “No”.

8. Warmth of Her Hugs

It is in her arms I’m safe and know that either sharing my joys or sorrows I am loved. She also has amazing arms from working out to Thrive90 Fitness and Les Mills Pump.

9. She Trusted God’s Plan For Us When I Didn’t

Alisa’s rock solid faith in God has been inspiring to witness. When I would question God’s plan she was the one who listened and quieted my soul.

10. We Got Close in a Two-Person Tent

Early in our marriage we did quite a bit of backpacking. We backpacked all over Souther California, Yosemite National Park, Sequoia National Park and many other areas. You really get to know your spouse when you’re sleeping in a 4’x8′ space. These are memories that will last forever.

11. We Can Cry Together

Tough as it was for me to show this emotion in our marriage, I have now come to realize it is one of the most important to show. Crying has blown up our marriage by letting us know that we are vulnerable and need each other.

12. Long Conversations Have Intertwined Our Souls

Little did I know when we first got married that having long conversations would have such an impact on our lives. It was tough to do this as I wasn’t the one to sit and want to talk. When we began to ask and answer questions that is when we grew closer. Grab our 77 Questions to Get the Conversation Started with our newsletter.

13. Changing It Up

Over the years it is really easy to get into the same routine with our sex lives. Alisa has always been willing to Spice Up the Bedroom. These changes have made a huge impact on our marriage.

14. She Doesn’t Keep Score

This has been a big breakthrough for us. We serve each other instead of keeping score on what we have accomplished around the house. There are no more her jobs and my jobs. They are all “our jobs” and we make sure they get completed.

15. No Rejection Zone

Alisa made a choice during our 60 Days of Sex Challenge to make our bedroom a no rejection zone. Now when I initiate sex I’m no longer left to wait for her to finish in the bathroom, a book, or wait for me to fall asleep.

16. Love at First Sight

I wake up each and every morning next to my beautiful wife and I’m remind why I’m one lucky guy. I fall in love with her all over again. Then the kids wake up and who knows what the days going to bring. ; )

Our Love Will Last

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud  or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever!
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 New Living Translation)

What is it about your spouse that you still love since you said “I Do”?

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  1. Oh my I love this! Especially No 15. Until he pointed it out to me I never realized how finishing up that chapter or the dishes -right quick- was seen as rejection. But dishes and books will be there…. I want us to have kids one day (sooner than later) but I know that if we don’t get this straight before the kids come it’ll be an even bigger issue once the kids come…

    • Awesome Rene! Glad you dig the list. Rejection comes in many ways and it is great to hear that you realize that it was happening in your marriage. Like you said and what Alisa has done as well, put down the book, have some fun, then get back to it.

      Go on you for wanting to grow closer together and build a solid foundation before kids come. They add another dimension to every marriage.

  2. Excellent post, Tony! I’m sure that have helped a lot of busy couples rediscover some special qualities about their spouse. More importantly, I bet reflecting on all Alisa means to you helped you get refocused after 16 years together.

    Well done!


  3. We’ve been married for 50 years. Met in the ‘summer of love’ 1967. Still think of her as the girl I fell in love with, even though both of us share the scars of time.
    She’s just a wonderful person. Keeps me grounded. Guides me when I stray from the path. What more can I say. She’s beautiful.