Having your own activities and hobbies separately from your spouse is a healthy way for you to grow individually.


At the same time it’s also a way for you and your spouse to grow your marriage.

Do something that makes your heart sing, brings joy, happiness, and a passion to your life.

This joy then is brought into the marriage where you are able to discuss new interests.

This week Tony & Alisa share what interests they have together and what interests they have separately. Both have been vital to their marriage over the years.

Stripped Down: 13 Keys to Unlocking Intimacy in Your Marriage

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4 thoughts on “177: BICYCLE BUILT FOR TWO (OR NOT)

  1. Very timely podcast on Bicycle Built for Two….as I just returned from a grueling 4 day rail trail bike trip with some friends (PGH to DC)…all made possible by Jackie’s willingness to let me go. The time I normally spent on my bike is a sanctuary for me…it gives me time to get perspective and pray intently. Thanks for your candor in all that you spoke about

  2. Curious minds want to know – did you ever try a tandem?

    I’m sort of like Tony – I’ve done the National 24 hour – twice. I used to ride my century and then cut the grass etc.

    Long story short, we first rented a tandem while on vacation in Maine, trying in Acadia National Park. We like enough that we bought one – that was 22 years ago. Now, I can push as hard as I like and I never, ever drop my wife. OTOH, my wife, gets to have a great ride and see / do things that would not be possible for her otherwise. We have some great memories (“Pedal faster dear, we are out of gears” said on tailwind flat)

    A tandem requires a lot of communication. It forces you to talk. One story that my wife tells is that we have couple friend, when they have issues (’cause we all do), they would go on a tandem ride. We call ourselves a team – and wear matching jerseys. Our tandem is one of our marriage enhancers.

    Alas, it is not for everyone. They are a little pricey. Some women do not like giving all that control (Although I enjoy listening to my wife scream at 50mph down the mountains….). Some guys don’t like having to call out each bump and shift – yeah, I’m still talking about the bike ride. Some couple don’t like giving up their alone time. As Tony often says, that’s okay.

    So, back to the main question, have you tried one yet?


    • Hey Al,

      Never tried the tandam together. Not yet anyway. I’m not even riding on the roads right now as I’ve been taking some down time.

      For us we have gone back to our roots of walking and talking. That’s what we did many years ago and now that the kids are older we can get out to do this again. It’s wonderful as we love the time together and we have a few different loops we can do.

      Throughout the walks we are talking about life, our marriage, dreaming and planning together. Everything we could do on a tandam, but without the worry of all the traffic here in San Diego.

      Thanks for sharing your story as it is a true testament to being intentional with your wife and marriage.

      Love you guys,

      Tony & Alisa