The two of you have probably talked about being sexual intimate via a blow job.


It’s a topic that is brought up, but have you discussed what it would be like to have your spouse get to the point of ejaculation?

Over the last couple of months many emails have come in asking this particular question.

This week Tony & Alisa dive into a topic, blow jobs, that many in the marriage arena are not willing to discuss. They share 7 tips that could help you and your spouse enjoy blow jobs in your marriage.

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11 thoughts on “194: TOUGH TO SWALLOW

  1. Tony and Alisa do it again! Home run. I do have one thing to say though about the abstinence comments. This may vary for other men but if I go 2-3 days or more with no lovin’ it’s off to the old standby, masturbation, and then the intended buildup is null and void. Comments? Solutions? Awesome job guys!

    • Hey Chris,

      Thank you very much.

      When it comes to the abstinence that is going to be dependent on each individual. I put that number out there as just that, a number. If you are 3 days, maybe push to 4 days knowing that you are going to get a blow job on that 4th day.

      Obviously, you two are in agreement that a blow job is going to happen on that 4th day. This will hopefully keep you focused on the pleasure you are going to have with your wife and not go down the masturbation road.

      Hope that helps.


      • Follow-up question… I have a very similar experience as you and Alisa. Last year my wife was down on me and I was almost there so I told her I was cuming per protocol. She didn’t hear me, but I thought she did and was finally ready to finish me off as she knows very well that is my desire. To her credit she did stay on me until I was done but then proceded to gag and barf all over me… Ya, mood killer. Fast forward one year. She now wants to try and finish me off but mentally I can’t erase that experience out of my mind so when I start to get close I can’t ejaculate or go limp totally. I remember VERY WELL what it felt like to ejaculate in her mouth and all i can say is NOTHING compares to that much pleasure, and I’ve told her this. Then I read posts like the one below and get filled with jealousy, but that’s a whole other subject in itself… Any advice on how to ignore my memories and be in the moment without a labotomy? Keep up the good work.

  2. Great Podcast! This is one area where Jean really blesses me.

    We had a bit of a rocky start with oral sex when we got married over 20 years ago. But for the last 10 years it has been very good. For the last two years it has been great! And yes, she swallows. 😉

    What changed was “feedback”. I used to try and encourage Jean when she was giving me oral sex by using words. Even though “Words of Affirmation” is one of her Love Languages it doesn’t work in this case. She started asking me to make “sexy noises” instead. When I learned to do this, to be more vocal, but not with words, her responsiveness in giving me oral sex has been incredible. When she hears how much I am enjoying it it results in her enjoying herself even more. We’re feeding off of each others energy. It has gotten so good that quite often when I ejaculate she’ll have an orgasm herself even though she hasn’t been touched. It’s quite extraordinary!

    • Wow! I say this in total jest but from the 99% I say “we hate you”…

      In all seriousness though I hope you truly realize just how blessed you are! Your wife is definitely in the 1% or less of wives that will bless their husband’s like that. You, my boy have a keeper!

  3. Do you think that a woman being aroused would be more enthusiastic about the job? I like giving bj after I have had an orgasm first. I can orgasm through clitoral stimulation only.
    So an orgasm for me would not be a problem for my partner getting an orgasm with a bj afterwards. How would that work for partners having problems with oral sex?

    • You bring up a great scenario Maria. This is for sure another option for a wife if it allows for her to experience and enjoy her orgasm first. Afterwards she is then able to bring her spouse to climax as she has been satisfied.

      In all situations it’s the talking and experimenting for each couple to figure out what works best for them.

      Thank you for sharing how receiving an orgasm allows for you to then return the favor in the form of a blow job.

  4. BTW Thank you for being so frank and honest about your relationship. It’s very encouraging to hear two real people working on their marriage and not a couple acting. Thank you so much.

  5. This is tough. Bad, bad, bad case of good girl syndrome in the marriage. Anything outside the absolute, rock-bottom basics, or requests for more frequency are turned around and used to question my personal worthiness. Sorry to vent a little — I never imagined having to face a challenge like this.

    I’m so thankful there are wonderful spouses out there who are willing to explore and expand their sexuality. It takes courage, but without courage and effort, you can’t have the personal growth God intends for us in this short, short life.

    I’m convinced that’s what God wants for us. I’ve seen what a blessing it can be in others lives. I pray everyday it will become that way in mine. Thank you for your wonderful examples.