Words that you hear and then say back to your spouse can have a serious impact on the issue you are discussing in your marriage.


The walls go up, the conversation stops and then the aftermath occurs.

Your perception and the filters you have about what your spouse is going to say can lead to ineffective behavior and communication.

There are two words that can change the entire conversation.

These two words are: I HEARD (fill in the blank).

This week Tony & Alisa dive into why it is important to make the change from “You Said” to “I Heard” when you are discussing issues that impact your marriage. Not only for your spouse’s benefit, but for yours as well.

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One thought on “209: YOU SAID VS I HEARD

  1. Hi Tony and Alisa,
    Episode 209 was spot on for me. I put it into practice last night and it made a huge difference in the entire situation. An issue that could have been blown totally out of proportion became something that we could laugh about. By the way I introduced the problem by outlining the You Said, I Heard principle so that I could be upfront about where I was coming from. We both agreed that it is an amazing tool that we need to remember to use in the future to avoid misunderstandings.
    You are doing a fantastic job! Thanks for being prepared to go out there and make a difference in marriages the world over.
    God bless you and your family.