The different situations you will have sex for the “first times” as a married couple are important to acknowledge.


The truth is that there are many firsts over the years as you may not have even recognized them.

Each first is a time to connect with your spouse sexually at a new level.

These times can deepen your desire for one another as you begin to fully enjoy your sexual experiences.

In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about the “first times” you have sex in different situations that you may encounter during your marriage.

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  1. Hey guys,

    My “first” starts next week, which will be the first week I will no longer be listening to the podcast in 2 years now. Please be assured this is not due to you or anything you have done or said. You guys are great. I am thankful for the corespondance, advice and faithfulness to each other, your audience and God. However as someone who lives in a sexless marriage (clinically for many years and totally for over 5) I simply get too frustrated hearing a happy couple every week. It’s refreshing to know marriages like yours exist but it is frustrating to no end.

    It will also be my first time giving up on sex with my wife, period. I have resigned myself to the fact that it is a hopeless pursuit in my “marriage”. I have tried everything I know to do, spent countless hours researching the subject, listened and tried to act on every single one of your episodes, etc, etc, etc….. All to absolutely no avail. She will not go to the doctor or a councelor no matter what even though she knows there is a drastic problem.

    Where do I go from here? Only God knows, but unfortunately I’m also losing faith in Him.

    Thank you for all you have done.

    • Chris,

      My immediate reaction to your message was to say “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry that your marriage has gotten to this point, I’m sorry that you are at the point where you will be resigning yourself to these firsts, I’m sorry that you are losing faith in God.

      Know that we will continue to pray for you and your marriage as we do for all of the ONE couples.

  2. Chris,
    I understand because I feel the same way and it the same situation for 4 1/2. he won’t get a check that he won’t go to a doctor he’s just fine with the state of our marriage. But I have not given up hope in Jesus I’m delighting myself in the Lord and placing all my csres on Him. It’s not easy not God can fill that void.

    • Veronica,

      I’ve been a believer for close to 15 years, almost as long as I’ve been married. Jesus has always been able to fill in voids in my life but not here. For some reason this is a void He either cannot or will not fill. It’s a void only meant to be filled by ones spouse i believe. I don’t want to be losing faith in Him, believe me, but after all these years of negative progress I can’t help it. You see, we didn’t even have sex on our honeymoon until the 4th night. My wife doesn’t have a low drive, she has negative drive and some medical issues on top of that like bad arthritis in her back and severe nasal drip to name just a couple, not to mention she’s starting menopause. To make matters worse she’s only 41 and I just don’t see things improving for us. I’ve prayed to no end, fasted for weeks at a time, cried till the carpet underneath me was soaked (literally)… all to no avail. There’s 2 things God won’t do… Sin & force people to do His will. We use to keep track on a calendar when we did have sex so we could try and improve things but to be completely honest I stopped that because too many YEARS were totally blank. Honestly, I couldn’t remember the last time we had sex if I tried. I love my wife with all my heart but f I knew 16 years ago the hell I’d have to endure I never would have proposed. If it’s God’s will that married couples have a healthy sex life (which it is), why, o why doesn’t He help my wife? Don’t think I’ll get that answer till I’m in eternity. Lord, Come Quickly.