28 THINGS WE’RE GRATEFUL FOR AFTER 28 YEARS OF MARRIAGE

As we reflect on the last 28 years of marriage, we want to share 28 things we’re grateful for…

This year, we celebrated 28 years of marriage. It also marks 30 years that we’ve known each other. 

In that time, we’ve navigated more ups and downs than we can count. We’ve fought, forgiven, laughed, and cried. 

As we reflect on the last 28 years of marriage, we want to share 28 things we’re grateful for. We encourage you to spend some time this season doing the same: reflect on what you’re grateful for in your own marriage. The list below can serve as inspiration. 

1. Each Other

After knowing each other for three decades, we still like each other. We’re friends, parents, business partners, and teammates in every aspect of life. 

2. Our Family 

We created a beautiful family together. We’re so proud of our son and daughter, and it’s a joy to spend time together as a family. 

3. Our Faith

Spiritual intimacy wasn’t a big part of our marriage in the early years. But God worked within both of our hearts, and He has been our anchor through every season. 

4. Laughter

A good sense of humor is important in marriage. Things will inevitably go wrong. You’ll miss an exit while driving or get a leg cramp during sex. It’s important to be able to laugh things off with each other.

5. Our Vows

We might not have realized the gravity of what we were saying on our wedding day, but we’ve lived it out. I’m grateful we made those vows and have stuck with them for the last 28 years of marriage.

6. Sex

Sexual intimacy connects us in body, mind, and spirit. And it can also be fun, pleasurable, and adventurous! Over the years, we’ve been intentional to try new things and get creative in the bedroom. Plus, we’ve had some of the best sex of our lives in recent years.

7. Hard Conversations

Some conversations are hard but necessary. Over the last 28 years of marriage, we’ve had countless hard conversations about sex, parenting, boundaries, apathy, pornography, money, and more. Ultimately, these hard conversations have strengthened our emotional intimacy and made our marriage more resilient. 

Need personal help having hard conversations? Apply for marriage coaching and take the first step toward a stronger marriage. 

8. Our First Kiss 

Thirty years ago, we kissed for the first time at a party Tony threw for Alisa’s 20th birthday. We locked eyes from across the kitchen, walked right up to each other, and the rest was history. Who would’ve known that kiss would change our lives? 

9. Second Chances

We have both made mistakes over the years, so we know the power of forgiveness and reconciliation. I’m grateful for the grace, accountability, and healing we’ve experienced throughout our marriage. 

10. Hormone Therapy 

As the years have passed, hormone therapy has helped us address low libido, brain fog, and other symptoms caused by hormone changes. This helps us experience a happier, healthier marriage. 

11. Walk and Talks

Walking on the beach, talking about life and marriage—it’s a small routine that builds connection. We don’t take that for granted. 

12. A New Home

Moving any kind of distance will stretch a couple. We would know—we’ve done it 15 times! This year, moving across the country was a whole new adventure, and we’re grateful for the new opportunities it has brought. 

13. A Strong Community

We have had incredible couple friends and mentors speak into our lives individually and as a couple—and it’s shaped our marriage. Community is essential. 

14. Our First Date 

In 1994, we got dressed up for our first date at an Asian restaurant called First Wok. We ordered a pu pu platter for the appetizer, and one of the spring rolls was so hot that Tony dropped it on the ground—then proceeded to eat it. Even though we don’t remember everything about that night, the joke about us being poor college kids eating food off the ground still makes us laugh. 

15. Boundaries

Setting boundaries is one of those hard conversations that will happen many times in a marriage. I’m grateful we’ve set up guardrails—regarding relationships with the opposite sex, in-laws, finances, social media, and more—to protect our 6 Pillars of Intimacy®. 

16. Our Differences

If we were both the same, one of us would be unnecessary! I’m grateful that we have different ideas, different perspectives, and different ways of doing things. Our differences make us stronger as a couple. 

17. Milestones Worth Celebrating 

Over the years, we’ve had lots to celebrate: the birth of our kids, new business ventures, milestone birthdays, special anniversaries, and more. It’s been fun to celebrate it all at each other’s sides.

18. A Safe Space to Grieve 

In addition to the mountaintop moments, we’ve also experienced deep valleys. We lost our son Andrew at 18 weeks gestation, and there was a lot of pain that we had to work through—both together and on our own. At times, it felt like we wouldn’t get through it. With each loss we face, we learn new ways to support each other through grief.

19. The Gift of Time

To have had 28 years of marriage together is a blessing that we don’t take lightly. Things can change in an instant, and yet we’ve had the opportunity to love each other and grow together for three decades. What a gift that is. 

20. Our Wedding Song

“Strangers in the Night” by Frank Sinatra is a beautiful reminder of the beginning of our relationship and how far we’ve come. 

Little did we know

Love was just a glance away, a warm embracing dance away

And ever since that night

We’ve been together

Lovers at first sight

In love forever

It turned out so right

For strangers in the night…

21. The Power of Prayer

We’ve witnessed the power of prayer in our lives. Praying together has drawn us closer to God and each other. In many ways, praying together can feel more intimate than sex. 

If you want to pray for your spouse but don’t know where to begin, download the FREE 10 Prayers for My Husband or 10 Prayers for My Wife marriage guide. 

22. Navigating Aging Together

As we have gotten older, we’ve encountered new challenges with our health and hormones. I (Alisa) am grateful that we are both willing to research and learn more about each other’s changing bodies, especially when it comes to perimenopause and menopause. 

23. Space Heaters and Sound Machines

All kinds of things can come between a couple trying to have sex. For us, kids and cold weather have been repeat offenders. In those cases, we’ve searched for the right solution to make sure we can still connect sexually! 

24. 834 Episodes and Counting  

In 2010, we released the first episode of The ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show. Since that day, each weekly episode has been an opportunity for us to sit down as husband and wife to have a real conversation. We’re grateful for the marriage breakthroughs we’ve had because of our weekly conversations—and the impact we know it’s had on relationships around the world. 

25. Taking Divorce Off the Table

We seriously considered divorce twice. Once we decided divorce wasn’t an option for us, we started putting in the work it takes to create an extraordinary marriage—and we’ve seen the same thing happen with countless couples who participate in marriage coaching. Back then, we never could have imagined the marriage we have now. I’m grateful we didn’t give up on us!

26. Baby Steps 

After 28 years of marriage, we’re grateful for baby steps. When you have cracks in your 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you can’t fix things overnight. But there’s always a way to be intentional and take action in the form of baby steps. 

27. The ONE Family 

Every day, your stories of breakthrough, healing, and success remind us why we do what we do. The ONE Family is a community of couples who want to do marriage well. We are so thankful for you. 

28. All the Little Things

Marriage is made up of a million little things—love notes, butt taps, meals together. Each simple moment of connection comes together to create a beautiful tapestry of our love story. We’re so grateful for ours.