In your marriage there are six forms of intimacy that build your foundation. Each are vital to a successful marriage, a marriage based on safety and trust.


And, sexual intimacy is one of them.

When your needs or those of your spouse are not being met a few things start to happen…

  1. You wonder why you are married in the first place and start thinking about getting out.
  2. You begin to get resentful and withdraw from the marriage.
  3. You don’t see the harm in look toward other things to fulfill you (pornography, erotica, emotional affairs, physical affairs, etc.) since your spouse isn’t doing anything.

This is not the marriage that you want to live in. It’s not healthy.

It’s a relationship filled with…

  • anger
  • frustration
  • sadness
  • resentment
  • disappointment
  • withdrawal
  • loneliness

You can have an amazing sex life.

You can learn how to please each other.

Learning anything new takes time, patience, an open mind and a willingness to learn.

On this week’s show Tony and Alisa share why sex is a part of marriage (no matter if it’s stagnant or vibrant) and how the two can make your sexual intimacy burn once again.

EPISODE SPONSOR | He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path

I got married 7 months ago and as a newlywed I can honestly say there is no play book or instruction manual to prepare you for this thing called marriage. He Zigs, She Zags has been our play book when it comes to our communication. I just wanted to message you guys and say THANK YOU. You are making a difference in our marriage!Chris C., Indiana

19 Questions to Amazing Sex with Your Spouse

140 – Scheduling Sex

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5 thoughts on “286: SEX IS A PART OF MARRIAGE

  1. Phenomenal show. Honestly, – so honest, so real, so transparent. Powerful, full of life and genuinely helpful. Just listening to Sex IS a part of marriage. Great show!

  2. So what happens when a hysterectomy screws it all up? When you get told “I just don’t have the urge anymore”. Then what?

    • Hey Chris,

      There are two scenarios that we are not talking about in this show. One of them is if there is some reason that sex is painful or medical condition. We know that these are outside the scope of what we discussed here.

      When medical issues are the culprit, like your wife has faced, she and you need to seek help. It may be medical advice or it may be with a marriage coach to help her to best work through this time.

      It’s in the stretch that is to come where you both will better understand the change that has happened and where you will find breakthroughs.

      Love you guys.

  3. I really enjoyed this podcast. I think this is something that needed to be brought up.
    I had stumbled on to a Promiscuous based podcast and the hosts were doing e mails and joking “Oh look, another e mail from a husband trying to get his wife to sleep with him!”
    I didn’t continue listening to the podcast as it was not pro marriage but I did think how sad it was that spouses are in that situation.
    Personally I have it pretty good and enjoy a regular physical relationship with my wife. We also had our exceptions with the birth of kids and I will admit that was a difficult time for me. I was feeling stress about having another human to care for , sleep deprivation and no sex. Yes there was some bitterness but we worked through it.
    Thanks for all you do , I love the topics you guys address and keep it real.