287: THE IMPACT OF TONE AND TIMING

When you first meet your spouse you were most likely on your best behavior at all times.

You would watch out for what you would say and how you would say it.

Over time, as you became more familiar with each other that “best behavior started to slide”. You got more comfortable with the fact that your future spouse would be sticking around.

As time passed you took the relationship for granted and AS A RESULT you would say things however you wanted, whenever the mood strikes.

Unfortunately, this can be a disaster for your marriage.

When you don’t care how you say something or what you say to your spouse, you open up each of you to a world of hurt.

• Both of you deserve the respect of the other.
• Both of you deserve to be treated in the same way that you wish to be treated.
• If you don’t want your spouse to raise their voice at you. Don’t raise your voice at them.
• If you don’t want your spouse to interrupt you. Don’t interrupt them.
• If you don’t want to be accused of ALWAYS OR NEVER. Don’t do it to them.

If you want to be able to have fruitful conversations it’s not just about how you say something. It’s also about when you say something. It’s about your tone and timing.

• There are times when stress levels are high.
• There are times when fatigue is a huge factor (or hunger).
• There are times when your spouse is naturally less talkative.
• These are not the times to bring up a serious conversation. No one is going to be productive.
• Choosing the time to talk is just as important if not more so then what you are talking about.

Take the first step and listen now.

In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about how the tone of your voice and the timing of your conversations ultimately determine the success of your conversations.