2ND ANNUAL 7 DAYS OF SEX CHALLENGE: DAY 5 – HEAVEN HELP US

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7 Days of Sex Challenge Book Kindle Edition

As C.S. Lewis once said“Sex that is too serious is deprived of the romp and fun that is essential to a healthy enjoyment of sex.”

After reading this book, you’ll be armed with the knowledge on what you need to do to have your own 7 Days of Sex Challenge. Every year our marriages need to be growing and  it is important for you to accomplish something that will set it up for a lot of growth.

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69 thoughts on “2ND ANNUAL 7 DAYS OF SEX CHALLENGE: DAY 5 – HEAVEN HELP US

  1. I love this challenge! It means so much to Michael and me.

    Our marriage started out with the bare minimum (at least I thought) of God in it. We went to church and seminars, but it wasn’t until we started interweaving God throughout the day in our conversations and praying together every day that I really saw how awesome marriage could be.

    You can never have too much God in the marriage! Look forward to spending time together this evening with God and each other!

    • We’re with you. We weren’t believers until 4 years into our marriage. Even after that it took us many years to understand how important it is to have God at the center of our marriage. It took us another couple of years to allow God into our bedroom and once we did that is when the fireworks started.

      Hope you have a fantastic evening.

  2. Again, the kids are gone to school so we stepped up to the plate and hit the ball out of the park.
    1st base
    2nd base
    3rd base
    HOME RUN!!!!
    The crowd goes wild!!!! 😉

  3. Eight o’clock in the morning here on the east coast. Teresa and I were discussing the comments about us “older couples” and our admiration goes back to all of you “younger couples” that have children at home. Those times were some of the most enjoyable and rewarding of our lives but also were some of the most trying for our marriage. Far too often, our time for each other was put on the back burner. The most important advice that we have seen during this challenge is the absolute necessity to create “appointments” with each other and the determination not to break those appointments. Love making has too often become distorted through movies, romance novels, etc. We tend to think that spontaneity of sex is supreme complete with conversation, candlelights and satin sheets. These times are certainly important but life gets in the way of creating “story book romance”. Making time for each other can and will be one of the most important decisions in any couples’ life together. We will comment on Day 5 later. Still flirting, still loving and still filled with anticipation!

  4. I was surprised to see the comments from so many other couples in their fifties also. I don’t think of us as “older” though, maybe just more experienced! We do have nature fighting against us in this challenge though, so sometimes.we have to work much harder.

    It’s hard to believe we are already to day 5 in this challenge. I must say I really like your message today about keeping God in the bedroom. If more couples would, marriages would be stronger and last through the tough times. I don’t think we would have made it through some of our tougher times if it hadn’t been for our relying on God and reminding ourselves of our commitment we made to him and each other when we got married. There have been days in the past when I wondered if it was all “worth it”, then had to stop and consider what the commitment I made was and that the only way to honor God was to keep working at it. He has more than blessed us throughout our years together and I give thanks to him everyday for my husband and our marriage, even on the days when I may not feel like everything is the “best”. He then gives me bunches of good days to make up for the low ones. Our God is so awesome and he wants us to enjoy our spouse, even in the bedroom! He wants to be a part of our whole life and be invited there too!

    • One thing you bring up Kathy is knowing God is there during the high’s & low’s of our marriage. Alisa and I have talked in depth about both in the podcast, but over the years I’ve realized that those tough times when we didn’t give up helped us grow the most. It was during those times when we had to refocus our attention on each other and by doing so we grew together. By growing together we’ve unlocked some amazing treasures.

      Keep it up you two are doing great!

  5. I discovered this challenge a few days ago. I think it is awesome that y’all are doing it literally. I wish that I could participate.

    My sex life with my wife used to be great. But now it’s barely alive. In the past three years, we’ve had sex only four times. A few months ago, when I tried to initiate it & she just shrugged me off, I finally had it & I told her that it really hurt & had a lengthy discussion about it. She swore she would change.

    Months later hardly anything has changed. We made out the other day but even that took some begging. But everytime I mention sex, she dismisses the idea. I mentioned this challenge to her & she gave me that look again and said I was crazy for wanting to do this.

    So to all those in the challenge, take it from me, keep going on. It’s one of the best things y’all can do.

    • you could still get involved….why not take it a week from today…I am not trying to preach here but it is her duty to perform sexually for you as long as you are treating her kindy and being the husband you should be…Are you praying for her and doing things for her to show her that you do love her….if you do sit down and talk with her make sure you are doing it kindly and not showing a negative attitude and getting made at her….MAKE SURE YOU ARE DOING IT OUT OF LOVE…..if you would like to talk i would be happy to chat with you email me at jjwitter@verizon.net

      • Dear James,
        It seems as though your statement about duty goes against much of what Tony and Alisa are trying to accomplish here. Is it the duty of husbands and wives to please one another intimately? Yes. However, from the tone of Jason’s comment, I don’t think he wants his wife to perform out of duty. He wants his wife to want him! Isn’t that what all husbands want?
        No wife says to herself, “Should I perform my duty today? Nah.” In fact, as a woman I can tell you that thinking of it solely as a duty is not going to do much for the ol’ libido!
        Jason, PLEASE don’t tell your wife – lovingly or otherwise – that “it is her duty to perform sexually for you as long as you are treating her kindly”, unless you never want to be intimate with her again 🙂 Please do tell your wife that you love her more than anything else in this world, and you want nothing more than please her and to connect with her on the most intimate level. Reminisce together about the early days of your relationship, the moment you knew you wanted to marry her, your first time. Help her relax and let go of the stress of her life, and yes, pray for her on your own, and if she’d be comfortable with it, pray together as a couple. Remember that women need to feel loved to desire sex, just as you need to have sex to feel loved. Hope everything works out for you!

        • I don’t think we could say that any better Karey. What we advocate isn’t out of duty as many of us know that isn’t going to go far in your marriages. When Alisa felt that she had to have sex out of duty those were our lowest sexual experiences.

          Jason, as I read your comment there are walls that have be build over the last 3 years for some reason. I don’t know what those are, but I’m sure the two of you do. Something happened 3 years that started the downward spiral.

          Have the two of you sat down in the last three years to talk this through? I’m sure you have, but with little results. Just me guessing here.

          During the last 3 years have you sought a counselor to help with the issues that have come up? Not just one visit either.

          I hear from a number of couples who go to a counselor once and wonder why nothing has changed in their marriage. Alisa and I have sought counsel in our years of marriage, but we’ve gone for numerous sessions so that we could work through the walls that were built.

          Our friend Corey Allen is a fantastic counselor to speak to. You can touch base with him at http://www.simplemarriage.com.

          Don’t wait any longer. Most couples wait 6 years to seek help and by that time the marriage is so far gone there is nothing left. If your marriage is important and not just sex, but all forms of intimacy you need to get professional help.

          Tony

        • I also ought to say that you shouldn’t tell her any of those things I mentioned above if they’re not true. She’ll see right through them. And even if they are true, she might go on the offense and accuse you of “just wanting sex”. But if your love for her is sincere and you consistently tell her and show her that it is, eventually she will believe you.

          • i am sorry i came across wrong with the statement that i made…i agree with tony and also with karey with what they had to say…. i guess i was not good with the words i used and how i said them…jason,,,,do go get help and dont let your marriage fail…she is worth it.

  6. My husband won’t be home til late yet again…. But in so ready for day 5!!!! Been a rough day I need it!!!

  7. It has been a trying day day with the kids and this “challenge” really hits home. This was a great reminder that we are to invite God into every aspect of our lives. Thank you.

    • Your welcome you guys. We completely understand the challenges that families face with kids. Today our younger child had a tantrum that could have destroyed all intimacy. Luckily for us Alisa and I are a team and we work together.

      When times like these arise Alisa and I like to take some time to talk through the difficulties so that we can better support each other in the future. This heightens our emotional and intellectual intimacy.

      This allows for us to get these issues off the slate so that we can be fully engaged in each other for our sexual intimacy.

      Stay strong and we will be praying for you.

  8. We ended up getting a late start on our challenge due to illness, but we are on day 3 and doing great. We have blessed with an abundant sex life, but now with three children, the youngest being only 5 months, we wanted to use this challenge as some selfish time with one another. With my husband’s permission, I wanted to share something.

    I was involved in a great Bible study this term, and during one of our lessons, our teacher told us that husband’s aren’t looking for sex – they are looking for sexual fulfillment. I had no idea what she meant, so I asked my groom that night what “sexual fulfillment” meant to him. He described it as a continuum.

    A “1” is sex for physical pleasure.
    A “2” is fun sex, and equal mix of emotion and physical connection.
    A “3” is all about the emotional connection. He described it as the earth, moon, stars and planets aligning – our bodies becoming so entangled that he can’t tell where I end and he begins. His love for me so intense that he can’t imagine a second without me in his arms.

    As he continued to explain what a “3” meant to him, I began to weep. He asked why I was crying and I told him that I had no idea that he loved me that much.

    For my groom, being fulfilled is a healthy combination of the three types of intimacy for us. For me, as his bride, I am still caught up in the romance that he loves me so much, and all I can do is think about ways to fulfill him in gratitude.

    • We’re so glad that even though you started late that you are here with us. This is so beautiful that we will probably talk about it during one of our upcoming podcasts. Can I ask what book you were going through?

      What a blessing as a husband to be able to express himself in this way so that you are able to better understand where he is coming from. So wonderful.

      Keep it up and enjoy the selfish time together, you deserve it!

  9. Inviting God into your bedroom is so important! Glad you are talking about this!! I wish I could go back 20yrs to when I was first married and tell myself how important this is. One thing this challenge has shown me (Shelli) is how far I have come in our sex life. MUCH better now than ever!! Looking forward to tonight!

    • Shelli, when we talk about this in our small groups that we have lead on our book, Stripped Down, couples are a bit taken aback. Our bedrooms is an area that many don’t think to invite God into and it’s sad. He loves seeing us enjoy each other while making love. He is the designer of the universe and knows what we are doing.

      For us the inclusion of God into our bedroom has allowed us not be ashamed of what we are doing, but to instead in allows us to glorify God when we are making love. It’s amazing the bonding and connection that occurs.

      Hope you two had a wonderful evening together.

  10. YES! Day 5 and we made it. Tony is fighting a cold. But tonight was our one night with out any outside appointments. Can’t wait to successfully complete the challenge!

    • Two thumbs up for completing Day 5. It is tough when we aren’t feeling good, we’ve been there. Your commitment to each other shows and you only have 2 more days!

  11. Day 5 was the electrifying! We haven’t felt the depth of this connection for this extended of a period in some time. Thank you Tony and Alisa for your suggestions and your guidance! Without your openess, we might not have ever attempted this. Romantic evening planned for Teresa tomorrow. Gonna’ blow her socks off!

    • You guys rock!!! Your welcome for the guidance. It brings us so much pleasure to see other couples experiencing these amazing moments in their marriage.

      Make sure you check out tomorrows video. You’re going to dig it.

  12. Long day and it’s not over. Alisa is doing a Lia Sophia fundraiser/party for a good friend and won’t be home for another couple of hours. I’m pretty tired, but reading all of your wonderful comments I’ll be ready when she gets home. Might need to take a power nap as I’d like for tonight to be a long love making session. We’ll be going back-to-back as we have our love making time scheduled for tomorrow morning.

    This has been the most enjoyable challenge we have ever done and it is because of all of you.

    Love you guys.

  13. Day 5 is complete. It feels a little silly checking in here after every time we “do it”! 🙂 But just want you to know it’s been done! 🙂 It’s been a fun week!

  14. Day 5: We started our evening off w/date night; we went to In-N-Out Burger’s.
    Then home to finish up the evening. It was my night to initiate again. I had something really special/romantic planned, something he would have never guessed to do.
    The stars at night – are big and bright deep in the heart of TEXAS!
    I made a soft palate on the roof of our house, had battery operated candles all around it, and had love songs playing on my iphone. I led Terry to the roof top and there we lay gazing into the stars just talking and just in that moment we both saw a shooting star. To top the evening off our song came on the radio, Glory of Love by Chicago. Terry sang this song to me on our wedding day amongst 75 other people. This night couldn’t have been more perfect.

  15. Day 5 is complete. I REALLY appreciate what was said today on the video. I have never thought of or considered praying about sex. Now that I have been enlightened, I’m wondering why I didn’t think of this sooner. Obviously, if there is anything we need to understand or desire about sex, why not ask the creator of it? Duh! God created sex (within a marriage of course), He created the ability for us to orgasm, He can certainly restore or create a desire for your spouse. Day 5 is complete and I’m getting way more out of this challenge than I expected to get.

    • We had the same “Duh” moment after the first time that I prayed during sex. Now, it’s become a part of our lives, and has allowed God to be even more foundational in our marriage.

      So glad to hear that the challenge is exceeding your expectations.

      Alisa

  16. I came home early tonight so I wouldn’t get kicked out of the challenge-lol. My wife was happy to get started earlier today but as you can see we didn’t finish early as our kids wouldnt go to sleep! Day 5 complete.

  17. 10:30 PM after working in the garden and a long hard day
    wife says”8-1=7″
    husband look at wife like a deer in the headlights
    talk a few minutes
    10:35 “ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ”

  18. Well a busy night in our house. Both kids with baseball! Leigh at 1 game, Me at the other! 🙂 Got home late and still had to make lunches, pick up etc… but we still got time for ourselves in there! still having a great time! 🙂

  19. Long busy day. but Day 5 completed.
    Had no idea our week would be so crazy busy and other things demanding our time when we started this week. We have stuck it out and have looked forward to each day and have enjoyed each other.

  20. Great advice about inviting God into the bedroom! We often pray before sex, asking Him to bless our time together, and several times after a really special encounter, we have both been overwhelmed with praise to the Creator who designed our bodies to give us such pleasure. For the day 5 challenge, we were both so tired, and it was already late before we were able to come together, so we decided on another quickie. We were enjoying the closeness, but neither of us was getting very aroused, and we almost gave up and went to bed, thinking that intercourse without climax would still satisfy the challenge. However, we decided to keep trying, and we were rewarded by one of the most physically amazing encounters of our marriage!

  21. Day 5 was our day 6, yet it was only our day 5 since we missed Tuesday. Not following any plan, just glad things are looking better again. 🙂 Still need to deal with some issues, but not something that is directly related to this.

  22. wow what a nght…i started out with an hot email that i sent to my wife from work… then around 10:00 pm we went and got our showers…she put on some lingerie and we stood and faced each other and we talked over some things and i had to ask forgivness for some things that i have been dealing with and then had prayer together and ask God to forgive me also. it was cool the way we did it. during our prayer i had told my wife that we are not going to close our eyes and that we would just look at each other and pray. ( who really said we have to close our eyes to pray)……
    then we prayed together and ask God to bless our time with each other and also help us enjoy each other to the fullest.. then it all ended with some fireworks in the bedroom….
    it is so good to see alot of people here that are married for 20-40 years involved with this challenge and also couples that are in theit late 40’s and 50’s it just prove that we can have fun at any age….my wife and i are 40 and still going strong…hope to be active the rest of my life….it is alot harder to perform that when we were in our 20’s..

  23. Day 5 went differently than I had imagined but was probably the best yet! We had a great time of deep, intimate conversation and are looking forward to the remaining 2 days.

  24. Late night for us. We squeaked it in at 11:30pm. Because of our long day we decided for a nice mellow love making session in our bedroom. Even when we are tired making love at the end of the day puts a smile on our faces and gives us sweet dreams.

  25. Day 5 is done! I have to say it wasn’t the best session. I spent the entire day getting ready for vacation and we ended up leaving last night instead of this morning. Our friends’ house is so comfy and inviting that when we got in bed I was almost fast asleep (which is unusual for me). Poor Ian 🙂

  26. We prayed together last night, it’s kinda rare for us to do that, and it was really nice to be so honest to eachother and God about our thoughts, and putting our sex lives in his hands. Then we had lots of fun in the bedroom 🙂

  27. After a 2 day rest we have now completed Day 5! Thankful my folks took the kiddos out to supper so we could have the house to ourselves before it got late and we were tired!

    • Excellent you two! It is always nice with the folks can take the kids for a bit and you are able to rejoice in each other. We know about being tired during a challenge. There were a couple of nights last week where we were spent. The thing is we had scheduled our time together and made it happen.

      Glad to hear that you are still going strong. Almost there!