Do you wish you had stronger spiritual intimacy in your marriage? If so, you’re not alone. Only 13% of the ONE Family say their spiritual intimacy is where they want it to be. Knowing how and why to pray with your spouse is a great first step in improving your spiritual intimacy.


Spiritual intimacy tends to be easy for couples to forget. It might not seem as glamorous as a dinner date or as enticing as foreplay. But all of The 6 Pillars of Intimacy are necessary for a strong, healthy, and beautiful marriage—including spiritual intimacy.

One way to make sure you’re keeping your spiritual intimacy strong is to pray together as a couple.

Praying together creates a firm foundation for your relationship. It helps you look at things from a new perspective, partner together as husband and wife, and build intimacy in a meaningful way.

If you’re ready to enhance your spiritual intimacy, here are three great reasons why you should pray with your spouse.

The Amphibian Analogy (Why Spiritual Intimacy Matters)

Before you discover the top three reasons to pray together as a couple, consider the word Amphibian

The word brings to mind the slimy, crawly group of critters that live both in water and on land (and can, almost without fail, lick their own eyeballs).

No matter how gross, cute, or entertaining you might find these little guys, their name can be very telling.

It stems from two words in Greek. Amphi, meaning “both” and Bios, meaning “life.”

Frogs are all about that “both life.” And if you want your marriage to flourish, you should be, too.

You are designed to live life in two different realms: physical and spiritual.

Marriage is one of the purest representations of this principle. 

Think about it like this: When you got married, nothing really changed physically. You didn’t sprout wings or magically share a common appendage, and your skin didn’t graft together with your spouse’s.

And yet, the change is profound. 

You start to think like each other, react like each other, and hopefully sleep at the same temperature.

Even though you connect physically in a beautiful and literally life-giving way during sex, the combined effect of your spiritual union is even deeper still. A spouse has now joined together with you. 

This is why prayer is as crucial to your marriage as damp skin is to a salamander. 

Without it, the very covering that should keep your marriage whole and healthy begins to shrivel up and dry out. 

3 Great Reasons to Pray With Your Spouse

If you ignore spiritual intimacy as a couple, you put all of your other Pillars of Intimacy at risk. Prayer is a way to ensure your marriage stays healthy and your spouse prospers.

Here are some reasons you should make praying with your spouse a priority, starting today. 

1. It’s the Most Intimate Way to Connect

Sex is amazing! Your sex life is a great barometer, compass, and treatment plan for your married life.

With that being said, praying together takes you into an even more intimate place than making love. This is huge!

Think about it like this:

As you grow old together, some sexual aspects of your relationship will dwindle. You’ll want to keep this pillar as healthy as possible for as long as you can. However, medications, treatments, and supplements can only do so much.

Folded hands take over when libidos fade.

So, learn how to pray with your spouse and make it a regular habit.

2. You Gain a Bigger Perspective on Life

Sometimes, it’s simply overwhelming to be honest about all that you have going on in your marriage.

You may be disgruntled, disconnected, and ready to consider another dreaded “d” word.

When you pray together, it can bring you back from the brink. Sometimes, this is simply because you begin to see things from a higher point of view. 

Pausing together can and will cause you to see your life—and your marriage—from a much larger vantage point.

You’ll begin to discover answers to important questions:

  • How is the world a better place because of your union?
  • Who has been affected by how you have come together?
  • What responsibility do you carry together that no one else on earth could?
  • What are you meant to do in this life together that is particular to you both?
  • How far have you come, and how far do you potentially still have to go? 
  • Who is meant to benefit from your future together? 
  • Who will be hurt by your future apart?

Getting to the root of these “deeper” questions can make some of the more shallow issues lose their sting.

No matter if you want the toilet seat up or down, prayer will help you forgive the offending party.

3. When You Pray, Things Happen

Everybody could use a few more “happy coincidences” and miracles in their life, especially in their marriage.

Answered prayers serve as anchored memories for you both. They help you to feel protected, noticed, and worthwhile.

The two of you have power when you pray together. You are partnering together to speak with your Creator about what’s happening in and around you. 

Your relationship can produce miracles, even if it’s not producing them right now. And the miracles and answered prayers from the past serve as evidence to help you keep going when times get tough. 

Take Your Prayer Life to the Next Level

These three reasons alone are enough to add the discipline of praying with your spouse to your marriage daily. It helps you to keep your “amphibian” nature as physical and spiritual beings healthy and active.

Praying together makes some rougher patches smoother, and it gets you to think bigger—even about the smallest things.

To keep your spiritual intimacy strong, turn to resources that will encourage you and your spouse. 

Jesus Changes Everything: 7 Key Teachings of Jesus to Live Your Best Marriage can help you unpack the beautiful messages of the gospel and learn how to apply them to your marriage.

Another resource to strengthen your spiritual intimacy is Called to Love: Experiencing Your Best Marriage Through the Words of Jesus. This book explores the words of Jesus that provide the blueprint on how to do marriage and experience the extraordinary marriage you desire.

Finally, check out the 10 Prayers for My Wife and 10 Prayers for My Husband marriage guides.

These resources are a great first step to boost your spiritual intimacy as a couple.

Watch the video below to rekindle the spark and restore the connection in your marriage today!

In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

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