New goals keep you focused on great things to come.

You look intently at the weight that is dropping each time you stand on the scale, at the alarm clock that will wake you up earlier to be in prayer, or at the attic that will get organized this time for sure.

Cleaning your house, dropping the extra weight, or changing a less than efficient behavior can take top billing on your list of things to change.

However, these things are far less important, in the long run, than the intimacy you have with your spouse.

What would this year look like if you made deeper levels of physical, emotional, and spiritual affection your #1 priority?

The same as any other goal though, the first thing you notice is all that’s wrong with the area you want to improve.

Growing in the different areas of intimacy is no different than seeing how many dusty boxes, extra pounds and missed early morning quiet times you have lying around.

The things you don’t notice can sometimes rob the most from your marriage.

Let us shed some light on the top 3 intimacy killers you face on a daily basis.


Too much blue screen can create the blues in your relationship faster than YouTube can throw videos at you.

There is a saying that love is spelled,T-I-M-E.

If so, how much dumb love are you giving your smartphone?

How much facetime are you giving your wife compared to your laptop?

Are you binge watching more than you are visioning?

Take a tally for 1 day of how much time you are on technology and multiply by 30. That’s your total tech time for a month!

How would your intimacy improve if you gave that time to your spouse?


Unscheduled time flows towards emergencies or powerful people.

The good news is, you’ll always stay busy.

The bad news is, you’ll stay busy with the wrong stuff.

Little league, PTA, church services and serving, parties with friends, conferences, work events, workouts, and the list goes on.

None of these things are bad in and of themselves. They provide a lot of experiences that can grow your marriage.

However, the same as any good cook knows, underdone is just as bad as overdone.

Make sure you have quality time on the books with your one and only will keep you going strong in and out of the sheets.

Kids need you. So does your spouse.

Work needs you. So does your spouse.

Sports need you. So does your spouse.

You get the picture.

If you find yourself in a spot where you are over booked and under connected, the conversations to reset your priorities are never easy. They are incredibly worth it, though.

Don’t be afraid to put on your galoshes and do some organizing in the mess that is your schedule.  

Margin makes what is truly important grow.  

Create it intentionally, tend it diligently, and you’ll see the right things flourish and the wrong things dwindle.

Broken Trust

Even if you have all your priorities squared away and all your screens turned off, you can’t connect on a meaningful level if you don’t trust each other.

There is so much that goes into this one, but most often trust is eroded in lots of little ways.

Sometimes even when you get the time to sit face to face, there is so much that has gone on that hasn’t been processed, it can get worse before it gets better.

This happens when the bullets have been flying, you’ve been working to keep everything going, then a ceasefire kicks in?

The real stuff has to be dealt with for a real connection to be made.

We have many tools to help with this one because, let’s be honest, it hurts to not trust the one you are supposed to trust the most.

So buckle up and have a conversation that you have been meaning to have.

You’ll be surprised how much stronger you are when you can breathe again because the air is clear.

Get in the game and make this your most intimate year yet.

Watch the video below to rekindle the spark and restore the connection in your marriage today!

In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

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