In the blur of your wedding day, do you remember the promises you made to your spouse? If not, it may be time for you to renew your vows. 


Vows are not just words you spoke when you and your spouse became one. The things you said to each other carry immense power in how you approach each day of your marriage. 

Your vows were a commitment to love, honor, and cherish your spouse for better or for worse. Whether you said traditional vows or wrote your own, you have grown a lot since your wedding day.

Deciding to renew your vows can be a great way to reflect on how far you’ve come, strengthen your intimacy, and move forward hand in hand. 

Why You Should Renew Your Vows

Vow renewals have become popular over the years and for good reason. 

One of the most common reasons couples renew their vows is to celebrate a significant anniversary, such as the 10th, 20th, or 50th. 

Aside from anniversary years, major life changes may inspire you to renew your vows. For example, you might have overcome an incredible challenge or entered a new season of life.

Simply wanting to is reason enough to renew your vows. 

The beauty of a vow renewal is that there are no rules. Unlike a wedding, nothing official must be done. You can plan the ceremony how you like. This can be another great reason to renew your vows. 

You may wish to include people who were not around at your wedding. 

For instance, you can invite friends and family who couldn’t make it the first time. You may have repaired relationships with someone who was estranged at the time of the wedding. It’s an opportunity to include your children too.

Beyond that, there are three powerful reasons you should renew your vows. 

1. You Didn’t Know Then What You Know Now

What did you know about your spouse on the day you got married? 

You knew many of the basics: where they grew up, their favorite movie, what they believed, and so on. You probably knew a lot of the deeper things, too, such as their goals in life, how they handle money, and the trauma they’ve experienced. 

When you got married, you may have thought you knew your new spouse through and through. 

But even if you knew every aspect of your love on your wedding day, they continue to grow and change daily. Odds are you’ve learned a lot. 

There are the food preferences and the pet peeves. You’ve possibly learned how to break the conflict cycle and handle fights well. If you’ve had children, you’ve experienced a whole new side to your spouse. 

Let’s be honest: marriage changes you. And it changes your spouse too. 

Over the years, the two of you have become different people. The promises you made on your wedding day apply to a brand new context. Knowing all you know now about your spouse—the good, the bad, the ugly, and the extraordinary—why not renew your vows?

2. You Didn’t Recognize The Weight of Your Words

Many couples admit that the wedding day was such a haze they hardly remember saying their vows. Even if you remember your vows, did you pay close attention to what each promise meant? 

For example, if you said traditional vows, you likely said something like this: 

I take youto have and to holdfor better or worsefor richer, for poorerin sickness and in healthto love and to cherishas long as life shall last.” 

These words aren’t new to anyone on a wedding day. But did you mean what you said? 

Alternatively, if you wrote your own vows and got married in front of others, you might have had your guests in the back of your mind. Maybe you felt you had to say something that sounded good, even if it wasn’t from the heart. 

Ultimately, the words you say are a covenant between the two of you. You might not have understood the gravity of what you said on that day, but you know what it means now. 

Consider renewing your vows and giving yourselves a second opportunity to make promises you mean. If you wrote your own vows, you might want to say traditional ones this time around. On the other hand, if you recited the traditional vows the first time, you may wish to personalize them for your vow renewal. 

Renewing your vows is a beautiful opportunity to put more thought and wisdom into your promises to your spouse. 

3. You Need to Commit Again

Vow. Think about that word. It is a solemn promise. You stand by it even when the situation becomes tense or challenging. 

A vow doesn’t sway based on circumstances. It’s a firm commitment to do what you say you will do. 

All marriages go through highs and lows. While you may want to renew your vows when the two of you are on a mountaintop, it’s also worth considering when you are in a valley. 

Renewing your commitment to each other may help you weather the storm you’re facing. 

It won’t be easy. 

Deciding to come together as one and make vows you intend to keep requires vulnerability. It will force you to acknowledge cracks in the foundation of your marriage and work to build back your 6 Pillars of Intimacy®

But if you are serious about getting back on track as a couple, renewing your vows can be a good place to start.

If It Feels Impossible to Renew Your Vows

It’s possible you feel like a vow renewal will never be possible for you and your spouse. There might be severe disconnection, broken trust, or another challenge you’re facing. You might feel hopeless and helpless.

But you are not alone, and there is still hope. Apply for marriage coaching today to get the personal help you need to improve your marriage.

Watch the video below to rekindle the spark and restore the connection in your marriage today!

In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

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