Making love with your spouse is one of the most personal and meaningful acts you do together.

3 Steps to Reveal Your Desires During Sex

The closeness, touches, foreplay and connection gives each of you the opportunity to steal away and experience a bond that is unlike any other.

The most intimate times are when you both take off your masks and truly give of yourself in this moment to please one another.

However it can be difficult to communicate your desires to your spouse at times.

When you are able to communicate your desires before and during sex a new level of intimacy opens up.

The ability to do this in a straight forward and clear manner gives you and your spouse the best opportunity to improve your sexual intimacy.

3 Steps to Reveal Your Desires During Sex

Share Your Desires

News flash… your spouse doesn’t have ESP.

At no time will they be able to read your mind to know what you desire during sex. You are going to have to share these desires clearly and openly to them so they will know.

This can be an awkward moment.

Been there ourselves and yet without stating these desires nothing will ever happen.

A desire you may have could include oral sex, sex toys, or making love with the lights on or a number of others.

By  clearly sharing these, you open yourself up for possible rejection, which is very hard.

We get it.

When you do share your desires you open a new door in your marriage. One that will bring forth creativity and get both of you outside of your comfort zone.

Confidently share your desires and allow that confidence to shine through.

Spell It Out For Them

After you share your desires, your spouse will be looking to you for reassurance. They want to try and yet they may not be sure of their ability to fulfill this new desire.

If your desires fall outside what you both typically do be patient with your spouse and the process.

As uncomfortable as it may be for the two of you, you will need to talk about how the desire is played out for both of you.

Sometimes this will need to happen well before you ever get to your bedroom.

As you begin to play out your desire remember that if your spouse is hesitant for any reason, then stop.

Allow them to share what is uncomfortable for them or what they are enjoying.

The ability for the two of you to share in these intimate moments will be vital for your marriage and for future desires to be fulfilled.

After all is said and done the key is that this is an amazing sexual time for both of you.

Persistent But Not Pushy

When you are sharing your desires you also have to keep in mind the nature of your sexual relationship with your spouse.

Not sure what these are then ask and answer questions together so you both can grow in your sexual intimacy.

If your spouse is not the adventurous one, extend them both the time and respect that they deserve to get comfortable with the idea.

This is a time to be persistent about communicating your desires but not pushy. Listen to them about the best way to approach your desire.

When you spend time to help your spouse work through the process, you both will reap the rewards.

Over time your sexual desires may change or your spouse may begin to come to you with their desires.

In both cases your marriage and your sexual intimacy will grow.

For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage and sexual intimacy, check out
Intimacy Reignited today!

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  1. Communication is the single most important part of marriage, without it we are lost. These three points are valid, and important to remember.

    May God bless all your marriages.

  2. What makes me hurt most is when I try to communicate to my partner about my sexual desires and she does not give a listening ear. Are all women the cause of marriage problems through sex or is mine just a special case?

  3. I’ve noticed that I am by far the more adventurous done in the bedroom so I am always willing to try everything that my wife might ask me to do but have found that any “non-standard” request that I make gets shut down and often ends the sexual encounter for the evening. So I’ve found that I am terrified of asking for thinks that I want for fear that I’ll be attacked about being done kind of a sex crazed pervert.
    The perfect example of this is our experiences with oral sex. I had to beg to give her oral several times and usually she snapped out of the mood for sex because of the request. After years of effort I’ve gotten her to allow it about half of the time but I still have to ask and receive her permission before going down on her. My eventual goal is for her to allow herself to give me oral sex but she only associates it with her brothers porn addictions so I get suddenly accused about why I want that and she assumes that I must be looking at porn and a huge fight incurs. Sorry for venting but this has been a subject of a ton of frustration for me for years now.

    Is it better that I just give up trying even though it build resentment, keep slyly implying though it builds frustration, or make the comment to open up the discussion even though it will start a fight and has a high chance of making it so she will never consent?

    Suggestions please.