3 Ways to Decrease the Stress in Your Marriage
Can we be honest with you for a second? Sometimes the stress in your marriage is not coming from your circumstances… it is coming from you. (We say this with love because we have been there too.)
The good news is that means you actually have more control over it than you think. Here are three things you can start doing right now to bring the stress level down.
1. Stop trying to read your spouse’s mind.
This one is so easy to fall into. Your spouse makes a face, goes quiet, or sighs… and suddenly you are spiraling, convinced you did something wrong.
Tony used to do this all the time in the early years of our marriage. He would see my expression and immediately go into detective mode, working himself up over something that had nothing to do with him at all. Nine times out of ten it was just something that had happened during my day.
So instead of assuming, ask. Something as simple as “Hey, what is on your mind?” or “Did something happen today?” opens the door without putting either of you on the defensive.
You are not a mind reader… and trying to be one only creates unnecessary tension.
2. Say the three words your spouse needs to hear: “I trust you.”
This is a big one, especially if you tend toward being a control freak (no judgment!).
Over the years as ONE Extraordinary Marriage has expanded, there have been more moving parts than one person can handle. Tony had to start releasing some of those tasks to me… and instead of hovering or second-guessing, he started saying “I trust you.” Those three words changed everything. It took the stress off of him and gave me the freedom to actually do my best work.
Where in your marriage are you holding on too tightly? Whether it is finances, the calendar, parenting decisions, or something else entirely… practice letting go and telling your spouse “I trust you.” Watch what happens.
3. Learn to say no to the things that are pulling you apart.
Not every good opportunity is the right opportunity for this season of your marriage.
Take a look at your calendar and ask yourself honestly: “Does this activity add value to our marriage?” If the answer is no, it might be time to let it go. That does not mean forever. It just means right now, your marriage gets priority.
You will go through different seasons where you cut back in some areas and add in others. You don’t need an empty calendar to have a strong marriage, but you do need to make sure the things that matter most to you and your spouse are actually getting your time and attention.
Reduce Stress, Improve Your Relationship
Stress will always find a way into your marriage. But you get to decide how much of it stays. Start with one of these three things this week and see what shifts. Which one do you need most right now?
If you want to go even deeper on how stress is affecting not just your relationship but your sexual intimacy too… our Stress & Sex Masterclass was made for exactly this.
We dig into how stress shows up in the bedroom and what you can actually do about it. Get instant access here >>
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Watch the video below to rekindle the spark and restore the connection in your marriage today!
In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.
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