Sex is a special and intimate time for couples.

It’s a bonding time where the two of you can steal away and experience a connection that is unlike any other.

Unfortunately, there are many distractions such as, kids, work, sports, electronics, community service and other activities that take you away from fully giving your undivided attention during sex.

We were in a similar place in our marriage and our sexual intimacy was suffering.

It was at this time the we decided to face the lack of sexual connection we were experiencing.

Over many conversations of asking and answering questions we learned that we wanted to be sexually intimate and yet we needed a plan to help us to experience the sex we desired.

Years have passed since we had those first conversations about our intimate life. Since then we have made sex a priority and are excited to say that our sex life has never been better.

You can experience the same satisfaction when you make each of these a priority in your marriage.

Schedule Sex

Pull out your calendar and look at all the appointments you have.

You probably have doctor appointments, meetings, sporting events, etc.

Is sex on your calendar?

Probably not as many of us just expect to have sex sometime during the week (or not).

The problem is that most of the time it doesn’t happen.

Before you know it a month has passed and neither you or your spouse can remember the last time you were sexually intimate. Been there, done that.

Take some time to sit down with your spouse, take out your calendars, and find one day each week when the two of you are going to connect sexually.

You have to schedule sex, if you want to be consistent in this area of your marriage.

As you go over your calendars find the days and times when both of you can be together.

You wouldn’t cancel on your doctor’s appointment so don’t cancel on your sexual time with your spouse.

Change of Scenery

Over time you get into sexual habits.

When it comes to your sexual intimacy it may be that you make love in the same place, same time, and same position.


Break out of your comfort zone for a change of scenery.

Get out from under the covers.

Leave the lights on so you can see one another.

Get outside of your bedroom (living room, bathroom, sundeck)

Try a new position that both of you agree on.

Over the years the way that we’ve gotten out of our comfort zone has been by having conversations about what we would like to try. Sometimes what we try doesn’t work out and other times fireworks are going off.

Take Turns Initiating

In every marriage there is a spouse who initiates (high desire) and one who is pursued (low desire).

The one who initiates gets tired of being turned down and the pursued spouse gets tired or find ways to get out of having sex, right?

We know because this was our routine for many years.

It’s time for each of you to take the lead. When you schedule sex also write down which one of you will be initiating.

Check out these 21 ways you can initiate sex when it’s your turn.

This act alone has helped us to better understand each other’s sexual desire.

Great sex doesn’t just happen.

When you and your spouse empower one another to share your likes and desires during sex this is when you can experience a deep connection in your sexual intimacy.

For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage and your sexual intimacy, check out the Sex and Communication Bundle today!

Watch the video below to rekindle the spark and restore the connection in your marriage today!

In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

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