Jealousy is destructive to both the one who is being jealous and the one who is receiving it.


After 19 years of marriage we’ve experienced jealousy at different times and over different things. Jealousy  can take the form of:

  • interrogations about where someone has been, what they have been doing or who they were with
  • searching through your spouse’s phone or through a computer
  • questioning any time that your spouse happens to look at a member of the opposite sex
  • rifling through their bags/suitcases/briefcases for “evidence”
  • increasing anxiety over what your spouse does when you are not around them

Where does jealousy come from? There is no easy answer but there are a number of ways that it can begin in one’s life.

These include:

  • Low Self Esteem – being told that you are not good enough, pretty enough, handsome enough, smart enough
  • Feelings of insecurity or fear of abandonment – being hurt in the past can set you up to try and protect yourself in the future
  • Fear of vulnerability or fear of rejection – the fear that if you reveal your true self you will be loved less, that by sharing who you truly are your spouse will not love you

Jealousy is destructive in marriage.

In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about the impact jealousy has on your marriage and what you can do about it.

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Join us for the “I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: 4 Simple Strategies To Build, Maintain, and Regain Trust In Your Relationship” webinar on Wednesday December 2nd. During this free webinar you will learn: A practical step-by-step process for rebuilding trust after porn, infidelity, suspicion and harmful mistakes (even if your partner is not on board). Register today for our I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar.

Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions for Couples

4 Simple Tools to Improve Communication with Your Spouse via Wellness Mom Life

Connecting Like We Did When We First Met via A Prioritized Marriage

Communication in Our Marriage via Country Living and Penny Pinching

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  1. Not only did you just give my husband ammunition to justify his constant connection to work via his device, he sent me this podcast to tell me that “I’m just jealous”. Aren’t we as a society trying to get people to put down their devices and pay attention to the world and people around them? Not just pay attention to loved ones, but being present, is so crucial.
    I also don’t understand why you flippantly recounted the time you as a wife, felt like your husband had a mistress (his bike). I understand that we all have to own our piece of the pie, and I’m sure you were a little jealous, but is there not something to be said for balance? Why did you breeze past the fact that he made you feel that way? That’s not ok on his part. It’s neglectful and most marriages end because the wife feels neglected. Maybe I missed that podcast? This podcast actually just added fuel to an ongoing battle in our home and was not helpful at all. I know you didn’t mean for it to be that way, but maybe represent both sides – not to jealousy, but to important issues plaguing us in this season of being technologically available all the time.

    – married for 10 years/mom to 3 under 6