Resentment is a poison that builds slowly as it snowballs into extreme disconnect.


What starts out as one disappointment becomes a laundry list of all of the ways that your spouse has hurt you, disappointed you, not been there for you, etc.

The resentment that you harbor toward your partner can be masked as:

  • Anger
  • Boredom
  • Indifference
  • Withdrawal
  • Disconnect

What started out as something manageable now has become overwhelming for you and your partner.

Right now, it’s feels virtually impossible to bridge that gap to reconnect.

Both men and women experience resentment in different areas in the marriage. Some of these areas of resentment are…

  • Staying home/working outside of the house
  • Having to take care of the household
  • Having to be the provider
  • Always being the one to initiate
  • Upside down priorities (kids, work, extended family, other friends)

You now know why you are holding onto this resentment and yet do you know where it comes from? Resentment comes from…

  • Ineffective communication
  • Unvoiced expectations
  • No clear vision direction
  • Fear of rejection

In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about the negative consequences when resentment builds up in your marriage and what you can do to change that path.

EPISODE SPONSOR | He Zigs, She Zags: Get You Communication on the Same Path

Remember how you felt when you first met your partner? How close you were? Like you were soul mates? Why because you spent so much time connecting and communicating. Now imagine having that same level of connection and intimacy for the life of your marriage.

Become one of those couples that celebrates your 20th, 30th or even 50th wedding anniversary while you both are still completely in love with each other. Grab He Zigs, She Zags today.

046 – Are You Keeping Score?

Dear Couples, Rejection Is Crushing Your Spouse

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2 thoughts on “332: RELEASING RESENTMENT

  1. I am going through some serious life struggles lately. I have destroyed my marriage and though certain insights vary from therapists, counselors and podcast sources, I find yours , so far very enlightening and REAL. I tend to steer clear of ones that are bible driven as I used to practice as a catholic but not for many years.
    I’m trying to get past fear in communication. Ive had issues with porn, other underlying issues that never knew were there until recently. My wife is done and its up to me to give her the answers she wants before i can move forward with any hope of reconciliation. I dont know why exactly i had online affairs for 6 years of and on. Every answer i uncover is not good enough or too vague in her and our therapist’s opinion. I’m regretful yet have been selfish in my actions or lack thereof.
    Any how, I’ll be listening alot more to your past shows. Thank you for your work and resources.

  2. I don’t know what to do. I DO have a lot of resentment, but I’ve tried talking to my husband in every way I can think of. These aren’t unvoiced resentments. I’ve tried to talk to him, I’ve tried to get him to do counseling. I’ve tried to get him to listen to your podcasts and similar counseling. I think he might be depressed, but he won’t address it. Or he is angry at me, but I don’t know why. Please help!