“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that is has taken place.” —George Bernard Shaw

When you have certain expectations, your spouse has expectations and yet neither of you communicate them to each other there will be unmet expectations.

Each of you will have a level of frustration that you are experiencing.

You may even be say things like:

  • I don’t understand why he/she doesn’t know this by now.
  • Isn’t the way we do __________ obvious?
  • Why do I have to spell it out every time?

These questions indicate that there are unmet expectations in the marriage.

There are areas of your life and marriage that you want your spouse to know or do.

And often there is this game played…

  • I’ll wait to see what he/she does.
  • Will my spouse get it right this time.
  • I’ve said it before.

With this attitude you are setting yourself up for frustration.


  • you are constantly growing and changing.
  • your moods are not the same from one day to the next.
  • life experiences have impacted the way that you see things in the relationship.

Often your expectations are not being shared in a way that is beneficial to your relationship.

You hint at them, voice them after the fact and even said when you are highly emotional.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about why your unmet expectations aren’t so obvious to your spouse.

Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proved Questions for Couples

287 – The Impact of Tone and Timing

Men’s Bamboo Boxer Briefs

19 Questions to Amazing Sex

EPISODE SPONSOR | The 6 Pillars of Intimacy®: The Secret to an Extraordinary Marriage

Is it really possible to rekindle the spark and restore the “like-new” connection in your marriage?

In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, we only recommend products or services we use personally and believe will add value to our readers. We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Medical Disclaimer: The content of this article & website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider.