“She’s not nagging. She’s trying to tell you something. The only reason she’s being persistent is because she cares. When she stops nagging, you should be worried because at that point she no longer cares.”


Nagging usually doesn’t start out as a problem in marriage.

As time goes on though you begin to share things with your spouse that are bothering you.

You don’t see any change in behavior so you repeat yourself, over and over again.

Then you get demanding.

Sometimes you get mean and angry.

Other times you get loud because you want to make sure they hear you.

And still no results.

You continue to nag and to you it seems that your spouse just ignores your requests.


Because nagging isn’t solving your communication problems. In fact it could be making  your communication worse.

When nagging is present in your marriage, it’s time for both of you to evaluate what’s going on.

If you are repeatedly nagging your spouse you need to ask yourself…

  • Why aren’t your requests being heard or acted upon?
  • Are you treating your spouse like a partner or like a child?
  • Do they hear encouragement from you or is it only criticism?

If you are continuously feeling nagged you need to ask yourself…

  • What is my spouse trying to tell me and what action(s) do I need to take?
  • What is my spouse pointing out that I don’t want to change or acknowledge?

Nagging is a symptom that there is disconnect in your marriage and when nagging is present it’s time to take action.

Nagging over time is incredibly destructive as it literally chips away at the foundation of your marriage, one comment at a time.

In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about the impact of nagging on your marriage and the strategies you can use to stop this style of communication.

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Other Resources:

295: The No Rejection Zone

334: The Emasculated Man

335: She’s Not Your Mother

Feelings List

Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa

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2 thoughts on “372: STOP THE NAGGING

  1. Hey there! I was listening to the Nagging show and it was mentioned that there would be some tips posted on how to change the way to communicate in terms of feelings verses a nagging tone but I can’t find it – can you help?

    • Hey Jack,

      What we were discussing there is the different feelings that you and your spouse may be experiencing. You will see a link to the different feelings above for you to check out and use in your marriage.

      Love you guys.