“If you take everything personally, you will remain offended for the rest of your life. What other people do is because of them, not you.” —Vivian Benson


The world you live in delivers offense on a daily basis.

It comes from those in your community, on social media, the radio, television shows and just about everywhere.

And yet when this offense comes from your spouse it’s much more painful.

The one person that is supposed to know and care for you more than any other, has the power to hurt you more than any other.

In that hurt, when you are offended you may experience:

  • Bitterness
  • Resentment
  • Unforgiveness
  • Hatred

The definition of offended is resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult.

You may often find yourself being offended when things aren’t right with you. These may include:

  • Insecurity
  • A lack of control (in or outside your marriage)
  • Wounded pride
  • Swirling in negativity
  • Sense of entitlement/life’s unfair

You will find it interesting how being offended is directly related to what’s going on with us and with your marriage.

This truly makes a difference in how you perceive offense.

We are so quick to be offended and the truth is that we need to look at ourselves and figure out what’s going on with us first.

Once you do this you need to determine if you are going to allow the offense to take root and destroy you.

Being offended does nothing to the person that you are upset with.

It only impacts you and how you show up every day.

Their offense colors every interaction, makes you miserable, and causes walls to go up and distance to grow.

It makes you feel disconnected and lonely.

In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about what happens when you are offended and how to work through offense with your spouse.

EPISODE SPONSOR | CanvasPeople.com

CanvasPeople.com has a very easy to use Photo-to-Canvas service that takes your favorite photo memories and turns them into beautiful artwork for you to enjoy every day.  Instead of snapping that beautiful photo and letting it rot on your cell phone – you can bring that photo to life on your walls at home, in your office, or to give as a great gift.

Limited Time Offer: Order an 11×14 canvas for FREE. All you pay for is shipping. Use Promo Code: marriage at checkout. Grab your FREE canvas today!

Other Resources:

Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa

Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com.

Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663


Please note: We reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

One thought on “377: I’M OFFENDED

  1. A great show topic and very well said by both. I agree that this is a major issue for my marriage and likely many others, as you talked us through the miriad of ways people take offense to anything in our age. It’s the opposite of the servant attitude that we need to bring to our lives daily that Christ modeled so well for us (John 13). I agree particularly with Tony who said that bringing up old, past offenses is like tossing a hand grenade right into your marriage. Happened right here 3 days ago and I’m still working on it in my journal. Thanks guys.