“We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.” —Bill Gates

There are times when you and your spouse don’t always know what is working when it comes to your sexual intimacy.

Thoughts like these may even go through your head?

  • Does this touch work for her?
  • Will he want my hand here?
  • Is she wanting more of this or less of this?
  • Am I even in the right area?
  • I know this worked last time but is it working this time for him?

Wives you sometimes complicate things for your husband and vice versa.

We’ve heard from many coaching clients things like “Well yes, I do like that…but not all the time.”


“Sometimes I want that BUT sometimes I don’t.”

Can someone please explain to us what a spouse is supposed to do with that conflicting information?

We feel frustrated speaking these words out loud and know that we have had this frustration expressed many of times in our own marriage. In the end it leads to frustration on both sides of the marriage bed.

There are enough generalities in our world these days, the bedroom doesn’t need to be another place where we don’t know what’s going on.

It’s often shared with us that couples can talk about everything except sex.

Many of us were not raised with parents who spoke openly about sex.

We run this loop in our heads that if we say anything, our spouse is going to have their feelings hurt or it will start an argument.

We’ve stopped being authentic because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings and in the end we stop connecting because we aren’t being authentic.

We have to be couples that create a positive feedback loop in the bedroom. 

When you connect sexually, it impacts more than just what happens in the bedroom.

When you both know what works in the bedroom, you bring a level of confidence and security to your marriage, your emotional intimacy increases and the connection between the two of you goes to another level

In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about what you can do to be sensual and how you can share these ideas with your spouse.

Fun Board Games You Can Play to Spice Up Your Sex Life

EPISODE SPONSOR | The 6 Pillars of Intimacy®: The Secret to an Extraordinary Marriage

Is it really possible to rekindle the spark and restore the “like-new” connection in your marriage?

In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, we only recommend products or services we use personally and believe will add value to our readers. We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Medical Disclaimer: The content of this article & website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider.