“Don’t start drama and then say you hate drama.” —Anonymous

There has been a lot in the media lately about people calling each other names via social media platforms, people speaking poorly of one another on those same platforms and in general just tearing people down.

It’s easy to look at celebrities or political figures and point the finger at how disrespectful they are to one another but what about how this plays out in your marriage?

It can happen with you tag your spouse with a frowny face on Instagram or Facebook.

Maybe you’ve shared on those same platforms how they have wronged you, publicly for everyone to see.

It’s putting up a post that is very, very directed at them without mentioning any names.

When you do this there are repercussions.

What is the long term impact of this action on you, your spouse and how others see them?

When you have been hurt, it’s easy to want to lash out. And in this day where we have our phones and by extension our networks at our fingertips all of the time, it can be easy to just post something or make a negative comment on someone else’s posts without counting the cost.

What feels good in the moment can be so destructive in the long run.

Remember when you were a kid and your parents or a teacher called you out or disciplined you in front of other people?

It didn’t feel good. And… it didn’t necessarily make you want to change your behavior. It only made you want to get away from them and hide from everyone else.

Why do we think this is any different as adults?

When you married your spouse you did so for better or for worse. Not a single one of us was guaranteed rainbows and unicorns every single day of our marriage.

You are living with another imperfect human who has mood swings just like you do, who has disappointments and hurts just like you do.

When you air your dirty laundry, it doesn’t make the laundry cleaner it only invites everyone to comment on your dirty laundry. The same thing is true of airing what’s going on in your relationship.

In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about how the impact of publicly creating drama can hurt your marriage and what you can do instead to build up, strengthen and support one another.

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Other Resources:

128: Playing On the Same Team

Position of the Month Club

Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa

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