Sex sells cars, hamburgers, clothing choices, and even hair dye. Sex is out there in our society and in our face each day and yet you’re not connecting sexually in your marriage.

You’re frustrated that what you see on TV or in print isn’t happening in your bedroom.

The disconnect you have with your spouse over sex is causing both of you to tiptoe around each other. This is no fun for either of you.

You can drastically make a positive change to your sexual intimacy when both of you address the issue together.

Sit down each day and work on bettering yourselves and your sex life.

Take these 4 tips to heart and apply them in your marriage over the next 31 days to have amazing intimacy and ecstasy in your bedroom.

Take Your Time

When we know we have to lose weight, and we’re determined to do it, we get disciplined. We watch what we eat and we exercise. And we know it won’t be an overnight thing. When we want a better job we go back to school and get more training. We put in the work.

But when our marriage and our sex life is blah, we often don’t know what to do. So we throw up our hands and say, “I guess this is just the way my marriage is.” Don’t! Here’s a ready-made, step-by-step resource that can help you do the important work of communicating, learning, becoming more at ease with each other and finding a new comfort zone. Put in the work. Your marriage is worth it.

Improving Sex Usually Starts Outside the Bedroom

When there are problems in the bedroom, we often assume the solutions are there, too. But usually the answer can’t be found in a sex toy shop. The best route to true intimacy and bliss usually lies in improving your communication, growing your level of trust, and learning how to show love.

That’s not to say we don’t have things we can learn in the bedroom; and the guide has lots of fun tips for improving how sex feels, especially for her. But making love is about more than just sexual release; the real aphrodisiac is in feeling that intimate oneness. And this study takes you through how to connect emotionally, spiritually, and physically–all in the bedroom!

Sex Benefits Both of You

Sex is one of the biggest sources of tension in a marriage because often one spouse is the high desire spouse and wants a lot more of it than the other. And then sex can easily turn into an obligation–“I have to do it just to get him off of my back”, or “if we do it tonight maybe she’ll leave me alone.”

When that’s our attitude we’re not just short-changing our spouse; we’re short-changing ourselves. You were created with a deep need for intimacy and connection. One of the best ways to feel truly intimate is to make love. Minimize making love and you’re minimizing one of the best tools you have to reduce stress and boost your happiness level. So don’t short-change yourself!

Making Love Isn’t Natural

This is going to sound odd, but making love isn’t something that people naturally know how to do. The movies portray it that way; the couple sheds the clothing and the sex is immediately rapturous. But the thing about truly connecting in bed is that you have two different people joining together–two people with their own wants, and needs, and perspectives.

Having great sex with your spouse means that you have to become a student of your spouse, not a student of sex. Being a great lover is about how to respond to your spouse and how to seduce your spouse, not what moves you know.

That’s why so much of 31 Days to Great Sex focuses on communication and trying things together to see what each of you like (because chances are you may not even know what you really like). But it’s about the two of you, together.

Will you take this journey together?

(Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos)

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  1. But on a more relevant note….

    “Take Your Time”
    Jean and I seriously need to work on this one. We need more time for each other. Things that take time away from us are work, the needs of our autistic son, a 13 year old daughter who is at that rebellious stage, and Jean working on her Masters while also working full time.
    Time is something we really need to make for each other.

    “Improving Sex Usually Starts Outside the Bedroom”
    This is something we have been making improvements on since last June, even with the time pressures on our hands. I guess adversity can show what’s really important.
    BTW, thank you for the free copy of “He Zigs, She Zags”. I didn’t expect that. 🙂
    I would encourage others to financially support your ministry as well.

    “Sex Benefits Both of You”
    We have made much progress in this area. I want to thank both of you for the help you have given us through your ministry. 🙂
    I know we’re older, or at least I am, than your usual demographic but you have both been a help none the less.

    “Making Love Isn’t Natural”
    “become a student of your spouse”. So very very true! Things have greatly improved with Jean since I followed the Bible to live with her “in an understanding way”. I needed to understand her sexuality and the way it works best for her, not the way I wanted it to be for me.

    Again, thank you both for all that you do.

  2. Sorry but it isn’t this simple. Sometimes a woman can be so traumatised from a terrible relationship early in life which can affect a marriage to a true love. 7 years of cheating and self esteem destruction brought to a marriage of an unsuspecting sap (me). My wife suffered the loss of her mom in 2002 (still suffering) and the sex stopped for nearly 10 years. I can count on one hand how many times we have been intimate since then. Now she is approaching 50yrs old, we have a new ingredient into life’s recipe. I’m screwed (sadly not literally) I love my wife but I’m still looking at my sexuality as something I need to turn my back on or go insane with frustration. NO masturbation is not helping. I need intimacy… Help?

  3. My wife and I get along very well. There are some things I think we need to work on. As you said here, it is a good idea to take our time on things since that’s how you go about fixing other problems. I’ll for sure look more into this as certain things are a bit lackluster.