“Clarity comes from action, not thought.” —Marie Forleo


There are many words you use in your marriage to convey a message or connection you have with your spouse.

These words are used here on the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show.

You read them in marriage books.

They come up in conversations with friends.

These words work their way into conversation like this…

  • Women need love, men need respect.
  • Couples should go on date nights.
  • I want to feel appreciated.
  • If only my spouse would help out around here.
  • Why don’t you desire me?

All of these words mean different things to different people.

Which means that when you are using different definitions you can find yourselves in a place of:

  • Confusion.
  • Conflict.
  • Disconnect.

Why you may ask?

You assume your spouse is like you and understands what a particular word means to you.

It doesn’t matter how long you have been together, there is an assumption that your spouse knows you inside and out.

Unfortunately, they don’t.

And it doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for eons and then some.

Assumptions and busyness are a recipe for disaster.

In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about the challenges you face with your communication when words are not crystal clear and the seven words that will help you clear up the confusion.


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Other Resources:

112: Flames Burning Bright

319: ESP (Extrasensory Perception)

Take A Break… A Coffee Break

Position Of The Month Club

Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa

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2 thoughts on “417: CRYSTAL CLEAR

  1. I just recently started listening to your podcast, (as I told you a bit about me and my husband’s story on Facebook messenger! ) I have listened to probably 50 episodes in a couple weeks time! And some episodes multiple times! But, I couldn’t wait until Tuesday to hear your most recent podcast, it feels like ‘Crystal Clear’ was directed directly at my husband and I! When I listened to it, I related with every single thing! As I took notes- writing down the words Alisa said, so that my husband and I can set down and discuss what each word means to us! I paused the show, I had realized I had been smiling the whole time, I then said a prayer-thanking God for this hope I have for my marriage now, because he led me to you two!!! It’s like the Guide to a happy, healthy, fun, marriage has been delivered to me, from God, through you, Alisa & Tony. I also realized that since I’ve found the podcast and started the 60 days of sex challenge (We made it 7 days before skipping a night because, he fell asleep while I was in the shower, but that’s ok, we picked back up the next day!) and the intimacy lifestyle, I just feel so happy! I feel hopeful! I feel like everything is going to be okay. And it’s been a very long time since I’ve felt those things in my marriage. Even only 2 and 1/2 years in. And being the low desire spouse (because of a side effect of a medication! Which I listened to the episode where you spoke about medications resulting in low libido), I’ve found I’m now looking forward to making love with my husband!! That’s HUGE for us! I’m even initiating majority of the days now too lol!! , and I’ve written him little love notes and put it in his lunch box, and I’ll send flirty texts during the day! ‘Crystal Clear’ was perfect timing for us right now! And now I’m finding myself asking my husband “what does that mean to you?” Or “I just took what you said as (fill in the blank) , can you try to rephrase it, so that I know what you really mean, so that I know exactly what you’re trying to say.” Etc. Instead of taking every word he says as something it’s not and we end up in a huge fight!
    Although we have been having some rough days, I keep using what I’ve learned and I’ve noticed so many little changes in myself, so fast! And it has changed the course of how we have been in a disagreement or argument. As well as physical intimacy and making love. Change starts with me, right?! I can’t wait to listen to every episode! I have told my sister in law, and my best friend about the show, along with co-workers and other friends. My husband even texted me one night while I was working and wanted to know how to get to your website and podcast, because HE was at his friends house telling them about the ONE family! That blew me away! I was thrilled! Thank you for all that you do, I can’t wait to hear next weeks show, until then I’ll be continuing catching up on all the rest of the episodes! Maybe my hug will even be the one Alisa reads! I love you guys and I love what you’re doing for my marriage, and all marriages! I love being apart of the ONE family and living the intimacy lifestyle! Again, I cannot express enough the gratitude I feel for having found the One Extraordinary Marriage podcast!!
    Brittany Baker