“Self confidence is the best outfit, rock it and own it.” —Anonymous

Having confidence is something that couples have faced inside and outside the bedroom for a long time.

You may have faced this in your own life and in your marriage.

We hear from many couples and here’s what they tell us about their confidence…

  • I feel nervous and I start to giggle.
  • I don’t know what she wants and so I don’t know if I should initiate.
  • Sex isn’t something we’ve ever really talked about.
  • I don’t know what to do in the bedroom.

Where does a lack of confidence come from?

A lot of it comes from mindset.

Women especially are told the entire time that they are growing up that sex is bad, good girls don’t do that, sex is only to please your man or make babies.

Maybe your confidence has been wrecked by loads of rejection.

You’ve heard “No” more times than you would like to admit that now you wonder if you should even try.

Each morning when you look in the mirror you don’t look or feel like you want to.

And yet you haven’t taken the steps to get to where you want to be.

Poor body image, poor mindset and heaps of rejection can have you doing the same thing over and over again literally just going through the motions.

When you don’t feel confident in the bedroom it’s hard to:

This lack of confidence in the bedroom impacts more than just your bedroom.

  • It impacts how the two of you talk to each other.
  • How you spend time together.
  • Whether or not your marriage grows.
  • Which means that it impacts just about everything!

Confidence is not a light switch that gets flipped on or off, rather it is a muscle that develops strength over time and with positive interactions.

The beauty in that concept is that it means that each one of us can develop the confidence muscle if we are willing to grow and stretch ourselves.

In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about what to do to increase your confidence in the bedroom.


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Other Resources:

PUSH: Pray Until Something Happens

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Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa

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2 thoughts on “420: CONFIDENCE IN THE BEDROOM

  1. It’s so true. Trying new positions that my husband enjoys, like me being on top, gives me a tremendous amount of performance anxiety! I’m not enjoying it because I’ve got racing thoughts about: does this feel good for him? Am I doing it correctly? I can “go” as fast as he can, like when he’s on top. And like Alisa said- my legs start to hurt! Also, I feel so vulnerable because he can see every part of me and don’t get me wrong, my husband loves my body, but I’m so self conscious about how my belly looks, how my breasts look, etc.
    It’s like one session we had, I had so much confidence I even did a little strip tease for him! And it was amazing sex! But the session where I was on top and super self conscious and my head not in the game at all, it was a real let down and the night actually ended badly. So, I’m making the changes in MYSELF that I’m not confident with, and also it’s all a learning experience with learning each other and what we both like, along with the intimacy lifestyle and we are in the middle of the 60 days of sex challenge,(I’d have to check which day we are on exactly because we had to pause for almost 2 weeks while he was out of town working!) so of course not every time we have sex or make love is going to be phenomenal!(but the 2 times we made love on the day he got back was AMAZING!!!!) I hope to get there one day where our sex and love making is always great every time as we embark on this journey together! And with God, and Tony & Alisa to help give the tools and recommendations, and very relatable materials, etc. I truly believe we will get there! God Bless and Love all you guys in the ONE family!