451: QUANTITY AND QUALITY SEX LIFE

“Quality is never the result of an accident. It is always the result of intelligent effort.” —John Ruskin

Many things in life have a trade-off between quantity and quality: the diamond you can get within a budget, the number friendships you can maintain, even the pleasure from an In-N-Out burger will diminish quickly if eaten three times per day.

However we don’t want that principle to choke out the truth regarding your sexual intimacy.

The more hours you spend playing basketball, the better you become. The more attention the grape vine gets while growing, the finer the wine. The more cell towers your provider has, the better the coverage.

When sex doesn’t happen frequently, it rarely achieves greatness.

If a husband knows this Saturday will be the only chance of sex for another month, there’s not much room for creativity or exploration in the bedroom. Just like making the turkey for your in-law’s Thanksgiving meal, you’re probably going to stick with the tried-and-true recipe rather than testing out something that could bonk. The pressure is on, and the desire not to fail is greater than the risk of something magical.

But what if we put as much of a priority on our sex life as we do on keeping up with fantasy football, laundry and dishes? There is a huge potential upside, and who cares if you eat from paper plates for a night?

We want you to honestly address a few questions in your own marriage:

• How can we relieve the stress or tension around sex in our marriage?
• What is your mindset about sex?
• What is the real reason the low-desire spouse is holding back?

We’d be willing to bet that three out of four couples reading this would benefit from a higher quantity of sex. By relieving pressure from infrequent sex, and being willing to know your and your spouse’s bodies better, you will unlock a much greater potential for higher-quality sex.

Don’t hide behind the excuse of what your spouse needs to do first. Take the first step with something that you can do. Bring up the conversation, answer these questions for yourself, romance your spouse, try a 7 Days of Sex Challenge.

Intimacy Lifestyle Planner