453: FEAR IS CRIPPLING MARRIAGES

“When we invite fear, doubt or worry to occupy seats in the boardroom of our heart, all kinds of things can wreck the joy of our marriages.” —Anonymous

Fear is a natural human emotion. It has a biological purpose to enable us to perceive danger and make wise choices. But it creeps way beyond its healthy place and is wreaking havoc on marriages around the world today.

Fear is not always met with a rapid heartbeat and beads of sweat. It’s often the silent weight that you carry that keeps you behind, walking through life and marriage instead of leaping. Being stuck in the past, or overly concerned about the future limits how you can experience the present. Quite simply, fear steals your joy.

People fear very different things: disappointment, affairs, death, finances, cancer, change, boredom, and the list could go on.

We challenge you to truly stop and think hard about what you fear, and write it down. For any married person, anything that affects you automatically affects your spouse. Once you’ve identified an area you struggle with fear, how do you start to resolve it?

Step one is acknowledging that fear involves both heart and head. You can’t simply will yourself to change your feelings, most often you need to begin to correct your thinking and your emotions will follow the messaging you hear in your mind.

Next, remind yourself of what you know to be true both about the situation, yourself and your spouse. Fear is rooted in lies, and sometimes worse, half-truths. As you concentrate of what you know to be true, acknowledge the reality of the situation, focus on the things which are in your control, and let go of the others.

If you can assess the cost of your fear and see the benefits of releasing that fear you will be able to start feeding yourself a healthier diet of truth. The truth is that you were not made to be held captive to fear, but to experience hope.

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Talking about your marriage can be a sensitive subject. Words can be taken the wrong way and suddenly you have an argument on your hands. You hurt your marriage instead of helping it. It’s amazing how little things can be hurting your relationship…

Or big things you don’t even realize are happening. Problems are swept under the covers and ignored… Until suddenly someone asks for a divorce.

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