456: BEING INTIMATE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

“The most wonderful time of the year.” —Andy Williams

We initially set out to do this show about connecting sexually throughout the Christmas season, but as we heard from you guys we realized that this season throws many different types of weapons and all types of intimacy are under attack.

And you won’t connect well sexually if you haven’t already connected well emotionally.

Based on a poll on Instagram (follow us here), we see that 76% of you struggle with having enough time for intimacy. Sixty-seven percent of you struggle with family obligations during this season. And laced throughout just about every message were concerns over stress and tiredness.

We totally get it. Concerns over finances, social commitments, and other people’s expectations can creep in. Our daughter is highly involved in our church’s Christmas production. Our son is still neck-deep in football season. We have two kids’ birthdays between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Each marriage faces different challenges but the need in the same.

Your spouse needs to know that they are your priority.

Don’t use the excuses “She knows I love her” or “Christmas is all about the kids, anyway” to dismiss connecting with your spouse.

Your marriage needs intimacy to be the priority no matter what the season. We hate hearing (because we’ve lived through the consequences ourselves) that someone has put their marriage on the back burner because of this or that “season”.

There is a 25-30% spike in divorce filings each January in the US. It makes sense if you have some tension in your marriage and then you heap on the stress while wearing the “happy face” for friends and relatives. We don’t want you to be a part of that statistic – let’s make this year markedly different.

What should you do?

  1. Schedule some time THIS week with your spouse. Identify your specific challenges to intimacy. Is it lack of time? Is it stress over a certain situation?
  2. Do something about the challenges. Don’t make this a 2 hour conversation (pity party) that cripples you into inaction. Progress the conversation forward towards “so what?”
  3. Resource yourself. Maybe you need a plan on how you will logistically tackle this season. Maybe you need to discuss expectations. Check out the Coffee Break as a way to guide your conversation to be impactful and not just “We’re supposed to connect, what do you want to talk about?”
  4. Make a plan for your sexual intimacy this month.

We are going to be on the same team this Christmas. We want you to be prepared to hold your spouse’s hand and know you guys are ready to have a great marriage through this season and into next year.

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