“You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.” —Charles Kettering

A lot of people look at us (Tony & Alisa) and think this is just the type of marriage that we have – we got lucky. But there is nothing “special” about us. We have not always been happily married. We’ve been through the trenches.

We have been through seasons when we didn’t talk to each other because there was nothing to say. We didn’t put any effort into ourselves or our marriage for years.

But what has changed is that we started taking actions — doing little things each day — to make our today better than our yesterday. It took a lot at times. Swallowing our pride, putting our natural tendencies aside, and being willing to have a humble conversation as we worked through the tough stuff. Once you start to do it, it gets a little bit easier each time.

Last week we got to watch President Bush’s memorial service, and one thing that stood out was the 73-year “storybook” marriage he had with Barbara. Looking back, they built a remarkable legacy, but it wasn’t without trials, in fact quite the opposite: it was the challenges that crafted their marriage to become strong.

Think about how you can grow your marriage today. Express appreciation for who your spouse is and what they do. Let go of grudges. Be affectionate (ask your spouse how they best receive affection). Get coaching on how you can be a better spouse. Initiate sex in a new room in your home. Hold your tongue. Set time aside to have a coffee break with your spouse.

All you have is what’s before you today, don’t let the opportunity pass you by.

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