472: MAKE UP SEX

“Every couple fights. Just make sure that the make up sex ALWAYS lasts longer than the fights.” —Anonymous

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Question: Do you use make up sex (and 65% of you do) as a temporary band-aid or an effective tool for growth?

Sex is a powerful connection, and especially after an argument when you each have heightened emotions and hormones, sex can become all the more potent.

But watch out – if not wielded wisely, sexual intimacy at this time can do more long-term damage than restoration.

If you need to go for a run do it. Journal. Take a hot shower. Whatever, but don’t stay in a place of disconnect.

At the same time, don’t overlook the power make up sex can have for good in your marriage. If you and your spouse have overcome the hurdles needed for true emotional intimacy, adding the physical intimacy in your re-unification can have a multiplicative effect. It can catapult you two to heightened levels of oneness as you grow through the adversity that life hands you.

Talk about what this looks like in your marriage. Maybe sex would be helpful in some cases. Maybe it’s another form of physical intimacy – like a squeeze or a kiss. Just don’t shy away from a conversation because you are afraid of facing a scar your spouse has because of your actions. Use the opportunity to discuss so true healing can occur.

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One thought on “472: MAKE UP SEX

  1. Hello you two!
    My question is “How do you know what having sex “regularly” is?” My husband and I have sex 1-2 times a month and it is a problem for me but for him it’s ok. He says that it’s not the quantity but the quality and although the quality is phenomenal, I am a very sexual person and want to have it at least 2-3 times a week. I have talked with him about this and it will happen for a week maybe two at 2 times a week but it always fades. So… how do i know what “regularly” means for us if we have two different views on it?