474: OVERCOMING THE “NO”

“Explain your feelings instead of acting them out and you will find solutions instead of arguments.” —Anonymous

Play

Rejection – you’re doing it and you may not even realize it. Most of the time it doesn’t even involve a verbal “no” – you avoid a topic, you come up with an excuse, you bury yourself in work. But when you reject your spouse just because you don’t want to put forth effort, your marriage suffers.

What if you tried this new restaurant? Checked out a local hike? Have dinner with these friends of mine? Change things up in the bedroom?

Human nature is to react, and we instinctively are selfish, and we want to stay in our comfort zone. We don’t want to try a new food, or new people, or push our physical limits. But shutting down, stonewalling, saying “no”, and dodging questions forces a wedge between husband and wife.

The point isn’t always to say “yes” – but to open up enough to create connection. Maybe instead of coming up with an excuse, try verbalize what’s really going on, perhaps:

  • I need more romance first
  • I’m not confident in my body
  • I am struggling with this fear
  • I’m really tired
  • I could really use your help in this area

Starting with your feelings is vital. But it can’t stop there, you need to shift into team-mode where you seek a solution rather than dwelling on the problem.

EPISODE SPONSOR | Rothy’s

Rothy’s is the everyday flat for life on the go. It’s stylish, classic, comfortable and comes in four fashionable styles – The Flat, the Point, the Loafer, and The Sneaker for women AND girls.

They truly feel like the most comfortable glove for your feet.

Grab yourself a pair of Rothy’s today and use promo ONE at checkout for free shipping.

Other Resources:

Take a Break… A Coffee Break

Position of the Month Club

Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa

Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com.

Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663

Please note: We reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *