“Are you lovers or just roommates?” —Anonymous

A sexless, or low-sex marriage is defined as a marriage where sex occurs less frequently than 12 times per yer. We all know honeymoon sex patterns don’t typically last 30 years in, but “sexless” isn’t a label many people want on their marriage.

Being in a sexless marriage can occur for all sorts of reasons.

There can be a difference in your sex drives. Maybe there are physical limitations or health conditions that create hurdles. You or your spouse are struggling with messages from your past that tell you sex is dirty or something to be ashamed of.

Has there been broken trust that hasn’t yet been rebuilt? Does one of you use sex as a weapon and try to manipulate your spouse by withholding it? Or is it’s as simple as a certain touch that you don’t like and avoidance is easier than working through it?

If any of these things have been going on for more than a week, we bet the underlying issue is that you aren’t conversing openly and honestly about sex. To overcome each of these barriers, you and your spouse need someone to be by your side. Consider Coaching with Alisa to gain insights and action steps during this season of your marriage.

Since 22% of you identify with being in a sexless marriage, then there is an issue that needs to be addressed.

No, the solution to a sexless marriage isn’t to just go have sex. In many cases taking on a sex challenge will be your off-ramp from sexual monotony, but when there are bigger issues at play, these need to be addressed and dealt with first.

Emotional intimacy precedes the best sex.

This is a topic that isn’t fun to talk about, so we see a lot of people putting it off, wishing it to be just a season that will change itself. But it won’t. Your spouse promised to love and cherish you all the days of your life, and you did the same for them. You both owe it to each other to talk about it and be at peace with your sexual connection.

7 Days of Sex Challenge: Rock Your Sex Life and Your Marriage

473: Roommate Syndrome

140: Scheduling Sex

EPISODE SPONSOR | The 6 Pillars of Intimacy®: The Secret to an Extraordinary Marriage

Is it really possible to rekindle the spark and restore the “like-new” connection in your marriage?

In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, we only recommend products or services we use personally and believe will add value to our readers. We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Medical Disclaimer: The content of this article & website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider.