Everybody needs a hero!
We all need to be inspired by those who not only do the thing, but do it well.
Marriage is no different.
We admire those couples around us who seem to have it all going for them.
Many of us dream that our marriage could click on all cylinders like theirs does.
We want their goal sheets, their date nights, their passionate embraces and intimate partnership on all things great and small.
We want their child like interaction and their mature staying power.
Our friends over at Engaged Marriage have a name for this you may have heard. We have no problem borrowing it.
Those couples we look up to are called “Power Couples”.
So what do these couples do that the rest of us can emulate to be like them?
Glad you asked. Let’s look at 5 habits that Power Couples dominate.
Power Couples Prioritize Investing In Their Relationship
Power couples know that what they sow, they are going to reap. (More on what power couples do to deal with the negative seeds sown, later).
So they take time to intentionally plant good things in each other and in their marriage. Then they make sure those things are weeded, fertilizing, watered and given great sunshine.
This takes a commitment to have a vision for this season of your marriage, and the next.
Power couples work hard to make sure they are pulling in the same direction and they ask for help when they need it!
This means sometimes keeping negative things under wraps and opening your mouth when you might be afraid to.
That’s par for the course for a power couple, because…
Power Couples Prioritize Communication
Power couples know that communicating is more than just surface level chit chat.
- not afraid to roll up their sleeves, get dirty and address the cracks in their foundation or the issues that have broken down trust.
- not afraid to don the SCUBA gear and go deep.
- never too proud to perfect the craft of the everyday use of tone of voice and questions.
- always improving on their already above standard ability to communicate.
Why is this?
They know that emotional intimacy creates the atmosphere for all else to flourish in their marriage.
Which brings us to priority number 3.
Power Couples Prioritize Intimacy
Power couples know that intimacy is much more than just having sex.
Intimacy is that emotional closeness between you and your partner that allows you both to take off your masks and share your innermost personal feelings.
Intimacy grows from spending quality time together.
Power couples make it a point to do the little everyday things that connect them as a couple – like making it a priority to eat dinner together or taking an evening stroll.
They create little everyday rituals that run through their lives like a thread keeping them connected.
Power couples know the power of thoughtful gestures: snuggling, hugging, hand-holding, sweet words – those little things that create closeness.
And here’s a bonus…
Couples with higher levels of emotional intimacy tend to report greater satisfaction with their sex lives.
And speaking of sex…
Power Couples Get Physical
Emotional intimacy is important but let’s face it… we like to have sex too!
Sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. Sadly, it’s also one of the first things that can fall by the wayside when life gets in the way.
Not connecting lately?
Power couples know that sometimes you have to leave a trail.
A well-placed sexy note, a provocative text… even a whispered sweet nothing can bring your partner’s attention to the here and now.
Power couples know that you have to prioritize sexy time.
Date nights, a spontaneous rendezvous, a surprise weekend getaway… even penciling yourself into your partner’s calendar can all keep sex on the schedule and just a little bit spicy.
The bottom line is… keep sex as a top priority.
And as we always say. Schedule it!
Power Couples Fight Fair
Make no mistake… even power couples have their conflicts.
What sets them apart is the way they fight. Power couples know that when handled the right way conflicts are an opportunity for growth in the relationship.
So what does “fair fighting” mean?
In healthy relationships it means listening to understand each other’s feelings. It means looking for a solution and being willing to meet each other in the middle.
Power couples tend to know how their spouse changes in conflict. They know how to listen to what their spouse is going through “now”.
The best couples know what the “fragile” sticker looks like on their partner and they know how to adapt their style too.
Sometimes loud personalities get quiet, and quiet personalities get loud when the stakes get raised.
Power couples know when they and their sparring partner are red lined.
Fair fighting sometimes means apologizing when you need to.
Yes, even power couples have to apologize sometimes.
Hurtful words do tremendous damage. Once said aloud they can never be taken back.
Sometimes it takes a while to pull out a negative seed that was sown, but power couples know it’s worth it.
They know that a sincere apology can help the healing process to begin. Power couples know the power of accountability and forgiveness for little offenses and big ones.
A marriage is no place to keep score, and power couples know this. It’s not about “winners and losers”. It’s about finding solutions that empower you as a couple.
Want to learn more ways to power up your marriage?
Check out, Discover the #1 Secret to a Happy & Healthy Marriage, a free webinar training for a better marriage.
Investing in your relationship is the single most important thing you can do to build a strong, empowered and satisfying love.
Don’t be afraid to shape up on anything that might need some work.
When you do you and your spouse will be a power couple in no time!