When it comes to your sex life, even the most deeply committed and head-over-heels-in-love couples can go through periods when intimacy happens less or not at all.

sex life

Many times there is an obvious and logical reason it occurs. These can be for the birth of a baby, a financial setback or a hectic schedule that has you feeling disconnected. And sometimes it just seems to happen, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay in that stuck place. 

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for 5 days or 50 years, here are 5 ways to improve your sex life.

Go Toy Shopping

Keeping things inventive and exciting is a sure-fire way to rev up the heat in your marriage. Hit up a sex toy shop online (or in-person) as a couple. Even if you end up not buying anything during your first visit, the act of looking together will inspire conversations around what you both want in the bedroom and inspire creativity.

If you are worried about someone seeing toys delivered to you home, check out our Amazon Shop for privacy and discreet packaging. 

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One way to up the fun with this is to go bold and have each person buy something they want to try out and surprise their spouse. You may want to set limits before you shop as well as what you are willing to try.

Schedule Sex

Yes! We’re talking about putting sex on your calendar. Spice things up by making what you pencil in not just any type of sex. Calendar precisely what you’ll be doing.

Are you going to improve your sex life by:

  • Wearing something sexy and lacy?
  • Trying a new location?
  • Exploring a new position?
  • Using a new toy?
  • Pulling out a new lubricant?

There’s so much to choose from, and by scheduling it, you’ll both have something to look forward to!

Scheduling sex does not take the magic out of it, but rather puts the spice back in by building anticipation, creativity, and making it a priority! You can make it even spicer by giving it a secret code name that only you and your spouse know about.

Share Something New

Sharing with your spouse and describing to them in specific detail what you would like to try. The ability to be vulnerable and share will build your desire, trust, and intimacy.

This works best when you both share what your desire without judgment. If something suggested makes you feel uncomfortable, rather than say no, suggest an alternative that you would be more comfortable with.

Map your Bodies

Draw two figures on separate pieces of paper, and without looking at each other’s papers, mark the areas on the body where you think your spouse likes to be touched. After a few minutes, compare notes and discuss.

This not only lets you know where you should spend a little time but also what areas to avoid or at least make a compromise. You can also “review” the map by visiting those places on each other’s bodies through kissing and touching. 

Change up the Venue

Having sex in places other than your bedroom or on your bed is a great way to keep things steamy. Make a date to meet at a hotel, the kitchen floor, or in a discrete outdoor place. Changing up the venue keeps things fresh, exciting, and unexpected.

Kick things off by exploring a little PDA and then move on to your sweet spot for some sex. 

Give yourself permission to step out of the routine and get those fires burning. You never know what fires might start burning for one another.

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, we only recommend products or services we use personally and believe will add value to our readers. We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”