In your marriage there are six forms of intimacy. More often then not, the two types of intimacy that impact couples the most are physical/sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy.


In any marriage, there is a healthy dose of each.

Connect Like You Did When You First Met is one way to hone in on your emotional intimacy.

On the other hand sometimes it’s the sexual intimacy that needs a bit of help. 7 Days of Sex Challenge may be what you and your spouse need.

Working on either one of these, or even both of them, will form a closer and happier relationship.

However, sometimes when emotional and/or sexual intimacy is withheld problems can develop in a marriage. In some cases a spouse may begin to look elsewhere for their needs to be met. This is a prime opportunity for an “emotional affair” to begin.

First let’s look at what “emotional affair” means and then we’ll look at 5 warning signs that can tip you off if you are having an emotional affair.

An emotional affair is an affair where there is no physical touch. It is one where you are either texting, Facebook messaging, DMing via Twitter or Instagram, talking on the phone or in person. It’s an affair in that you are giving yourself to someone else other than your spouse in the emotional intimacy department.

An emotional affair is just as destructive on your marriage as a physical or sexual affair.

5 Warning Signs That You Are Having an Emotional Affair

You Want to Tell “Your Friend” Important News First

If you tell “your friend” important news before you tell your spouse, then that is a clear sign that you may be having an emotional affair.

By doing this, you acknowledge that it is more important to you that “your friend” knows this information before your spouse knows.

This suggests that you favor the approval of “your friend” over your spouse. Not a good thing.

Gift Giving Beyond Friendship

Gift giving is normal, and happens between friends all the time. However, giving gifts to a friend that one would give to a spouse is an example of an emotional affair.

This can range from concert tickets to over the top, elaborate gifts. Not a good thing.

Withdrawing From Your Spouse

A clear sign that you are having an emotional affair is when you begin pulling away from your spouse.

This can happen because of a number of reasons, but when you are doing this because of interaction with “your friend” then you have crossed the line.

The problem is when you begin relying on another person, as opposed to your spouse for your emotional connection. Not a good thing.

Comparing “Your Friend” To Your Partner

Comparing “your friend” to your spouse is often a sign of an emotional affair.

It means that you are sizing up both as equals, comparing which one is better for you. Not a good thing.

Justifying Time

The more you find yourself justifying the time you spend texting, chatting, Facebook messaging with “your friend” to yourself and others, the more you are committing an emotional affair.

When you begin spending more time communicating about intimate topics with “your friend” then you spouse IT’S NOT A GOOD THING.

It’s time to take personal accountability about what is happening in your life and in your marriage. Rebuilding the emotional intimacy with your spouse is of the utmost importance.

End the emotional affair with “your friend” and put that same energy into your marriage.

For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path today!

Watch the video below to rekindle the spark and restore the connection in your marriage today!

In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

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