“The Bible is meant to be bread for daily use, not cake for special occasions.” — Unknown


Thinking about the Spiritual Pillar of Intimacy, you may wonder how to grow spiritually as a couple. 

You know it’s important, and you want to strengthen this pillar. But how do you do that?

A great way to build spiritual intimacy is by using the Bible or a devotional. 

Maybe you’ve never considered it to be a together activity. Maybe your spiritual books are collecting dust. 

But reading together can create a strong and intimate bond between you and your spouse.

Spirituality is deeply personal, and you might never have learned how to “do” faith-related things as a couple.

Let’s change that.

Step One: Make the Time

It’s hard to grow spiritually as a couple without a plan.

First, find a time each week that works for both of you. Everyone’s lives are busy, so you’ll need some give and take to make this happen. 

If you’re new to this or a little rusty, start with just once a week for 15 minutes. If you’re already connecting over your Bible, then try adding another day each week or lengthening your time together. 

As you get more comfortable reading together, you may crave more of these opportunities. That’s when you know it’s time to increase your days or your time.

Next, put the times on both of your calendars. Leaving it to chance opens the door to other activities or excuses for why you can’t do it. 

Be intentional about this time, and don’t let anything get in the way of the two of you strengthening your Spiritual Pillar.

Step Two: Choose a Material

To grow spiritually as a couple, you need to decide on a book or resource. 

Do you want to read the Bible together? Or find a devotional?

If you want to read the Bible, here are a few questions to consider before getting started:

  • Do you want to read it from beginning to end?
  • How much do you want to read each time? (If you’ve allotted 15 minutes, one chapter would be good.)
  • Do you want to start with the Old Testament or the New?
  • Do you want to start with a specific book of the Bible? (For example, a good book during the Easter season is the Acts of the Apostles, which occurs after Jesus’ Resurrection.)

Here are some questions to consider before you select a devotional:

  • Would you prefer a themed devotional?
  • Do you want a book you can write in?
  • Would you prefer one that is a certain number of days?

Once you’ve scheduled your time and decided on a book and format, it’s time to determine what you’re going to do with it.

Step Three: Create Your Routine

There is no right or wrong to this step, and there are no specifics. This is where it becomes personal to the two of you. 

You’ll decide how you will grow spiritually as a couple. 

Below are some ideas on how to spend your spiritual time together, but they come with a warning: don’t do all of them at once, especially if this is new to you. 

Pick one. Just one. And start there. 

When you’re comfortable with one, you can add another. 

This is your time. The two of you get to decide how you spend it.

Here are five ideas for ways you can grow together spiritually as a married couple:

Take Turns Reading

Shake up how you read the Bible, devotional, or other spiritual material together. This can look like alternating reading days or each of you reading half the chapter each day.

Keep a Record

As you read together, take note of the things that resonate with you. Pick your favorite verse(s) from what you’ve read and write them down. For example, add them to a blank calendar on the day you read them, keep a notebook of verses, or create a document on your computer.

Make it a Simple, Daily Practice

Incorporate your favorite Bible verses or spiritual quotes in your day-to-day activities. 

This can look like texting them to each other at random times, writing them on sticky notes for the other to find, creating art and putting it on your walls, and more. What other ways can you think of?

Reflect and Discuss

To grow together spiritually, you need to discuss what you’re learning. 

This can look like some conversation after reading to share what the material meant to you or keeping a notebook where you each share your thoughts. You might even enjoy reading in the morning, reflecting during the day, and then coming together at night to discuss.

Pray Together

After reading, pray together and ask for guidance on how this chapter or a specific verse applies to your lives as individual spouses and as a married couple.

BONUS: An Extra Way to Grow Spiritually as a Couple

One thing that can make spiritual time together more special is to have a specific place you go whenever you’re reading and praying together. 

It could be your bed, a comfy chair in your room, a corner dedicated to faith-related activities, a spot on the deck—anywhere. 

The exact location isn’t what’s important. It’s the fact that it’s a location where you consistently spend time in spiritual intimacy.

When planning this space, make sure it has a spot for your essentials. If you only have 15 minutes to read together, it doesn’t help to spend five or ten of them searching for your Bible, notebook, or pen. 

If you keep a basket or a bag within that sacred place, you will have everything you need at your fingertips for that special time together.

Here are a few things to consider putting in your basket or bag. (Note: you do not need all of these; a simple book to read and possibly a notebook are all you need. These are simply suggestions.):

It’s Time to Strengthen Your Spiritual Intimacy

You’ve scheduled a time, put it on the calendar, selected a book, and decided what to do. 

You’ve sought a sacred space and gathered your supplies. 

It’s time to meet each other and develop your spiritual intimacy!

“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.” (Is 40:8) 

Watch the video below to rekindle the spark and restore the connection in your marriage today!

In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

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