5 WAYS TO RUIN DATE NIGHT

Imagine this… You’re finally getting out on a date night with your spouse. It’s been months since the two of you have been able to get one in, and this weekend, you finally made time to have fun together—just the two of you at your favorite restaurant as you love on each other.

Both of you are anticipating this time together where you can connect emotionally, recreationally, and maybe even sexually afterward.

There are no kids asking “why,” no electronics stealing your attention, and no petty arguments.

And yet, either one of you could still ruin date night by making a simple, yet common, mistake.

5 Ways to Ruin Date Night (and How to Avoid Them!)

Dating your spouse is important no matter how long you’ve been married. But sometimes, you can unintentionally ruin the moment with bad habits. To help keep the spark alive between you and your spouse, here are five things to avoid during date night. 

1. Ignoring Basic Table Manners

If you’ve been married for a long time, you’ve become comfortable with your spouse. But table manners still matter!

Chewing with your mouth open, talking with a full mouth, or slurping your soup is not attractive. Place a napkin on your lap and only use your fingers when it is actually finger food. This is not rocket science, folks.

2. Being Glued to Your Phone

Nothing says “I’m not fully present” like texting, checking the score of the game, or scrolling through social media. Phone addiction is a serious problem. Don’t let it ruin your date night! 

Here are some ideas to help you ditch the phone and focus on your spouse: 

• Set expectations: Agree to keep phones off or on silent before your date starts.
• Silence your smartwatch: Disable notifications for the night to avoid glancing at your wrist every few minutes.
• Have a plan for emergencies: If you have kids or are expecting an urgent call, discuss how you will handle incoming messages with your spouse in advance.

3. Sabotaging the Conversation 

What you talk about on date night plays a huge role in whether it’s a success. Hijacking the conversation by talking too much—or worse, not engaging in the conversation at all!—is a quick way to ruin date night. Instead, you should both be asking questions, actively listening, and answering honestly. 

If you need ideas to keep the conversation going, bring some conversation cards or download the free 28 Romantic Prompts Marriage Guide. 

Tip: Date night is supposed to be fun and romantic! Avoid oversharing about work drama, bodily functions, or heavy topics. 

4. Grooming at the Table

Here’s a list of some things that should never be done at the table: twirling your mustache, biting your nails, or picking at your teeth. The list could go on and on.

By all means, wipe food off your face with your napkin, but save the grooming for another time. It may seem like a small thing, but avoiding this mistake can keep the mood light and distraction-free.

5. Doing the Same Thing Every Time

As with any area of your marriage, intentionality is essential. The same goes for your recreational intimacy. If you always go to the same restaurant, order the same meal, and have the same conversations, it’s time to spice things up. 

Here are some ideas to get you inspired: 

• Switch up the time of day: Who says date night has to be at night? Try a morning brunch date or go for a scenic afternoon hike. 
• Dress up: Take a few extra minutes to put on a nice outfit, spray a cologne or perfume your spouse likes, or do your hair differently. 
• Surprise each other: Take turns planning surprise date nights or have one spouse pick a meal and the other spouse pick an activity.

Tip: Don’t forget about the power of an at-home date. With a little effort, at-home dates can feel just as special as going out.

Make Your Next Date Night Count

As one of The 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, strong recreational intimacy helps your marriage thrive. Many couples struggle to get a date night on the calendar, so when those dates come around, you want them to be fun! Avoiding these five common mistakes can ensure you and your spouse feel more close and connected by the end of the evening. 

Most importantly, it shows that you’re still invested in growing your relationship—no matter how long you’ve been married. So go ahead, put in a little extra effort, and watch your next date night become one to remember!

Looking for more ideas to make date night memorable? Check out the Date Night Done Right Guide. With instant digital access to this marriage guide, you can begin planning meaningful dates that keep your marriage strong.