“A wedding is an event, a marriage is a lifetime. Invest more in your marriage than your wedding and success is inevitable.” —Anonymous
Marriage has many seasons. As the years pass, your marriage will see ups and downs, wins, and challenges. That’s why equipping yourself on how to have an extraordinary marriage no matter how long you have been married is so important.
One of the best ways to understand the seasons of marriage is to start at the beginning and explore the “newly wed stage.”
This newly wed season can last anywhere from 14 months to 4 years. It is very dependent on your expectations both as individuals and as a couple as to what your marriage will be.
In the early stages of marriage, things are bright and new. Your big day is still fresh in your mind, and you’re ready to take on the world together. You’re still learning about each other and finding out the basics of being a married couple.
It does not matter if you’ve lived together for years or have just begun sharing a space, something changes when you say “I Do.”
For many, the wedding is built up to be the pinnacle of your relationship when, in reality, it’s the start. Your wedding is the starting line for the race ahead, it’s not the finish line.
Today’s newly wed couples are met with huge expectations, mainly in part to social media and the ways that we openly showcase our lives. They can also be impacted by those that you hang around with, including your family and friends.
Getting married changes so many things, but most of the time, you don’t realize what those will be for you until you’re a few months into married life.
It’s the little things that you start to feel challenged by. What are your expectations for sex? For laundry? For cleaning up the kitchen? All of the little things become the first of many challenges that you’ll need to sort through as a couple.
When you start to feel overwhelmed, remember that you have a lifetime ahead of you and what’s happening right now more than likely won’t be what’s happening years from now. It only seems significant because it’s happening right now. That weight won’t feel the same way once you figure out what works in your marriage right now.
You also need to evaluate your own expectations and then share them with your spouse. Remember what your spouse doesn’t know will frustrate BOTH of you. That’s why you need to talk to each other, listen to each other, and invest in each other just like you did when you were dating. All those things that you did to woo each other still need to happen when you’re married.
Remember that you are two imperfect people that are just starting to navigate your life together for the first time. It won’t be perfect, but it will be fantastic if you only work together.
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