509: MARRIAGE THROUGH THE YEARS: PART 2 — CHILD REARING YEARS

“Our children are not going to be just “our children” – they are going to be other people’s husbands and wives and the parents of our grandchildren.” Mary Calderon

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Having kids brings a whole new layer to your marriage. 

You weren’t given an owners manual on how to raise your kids during these child rearing years. Once they enter your life they quickly change the dynamics of your marriage.

It can be a challenge to go from “just the two of you” to a family that includes a child (or children) who needs both of you to give love, support, direction, and knowledge.

It’s easy to get lost in the demands of your children because they need so much. It’s easy to put your needs as a couple on the back burner while you simply try to just hold things together and get through the day. 

In today’s day, you are told that kids should come first. You have become conditioned to put children in tons of activities, constantly cater to their needs and prioritize them over your marriage. 

The problem with this type of mindset is that it shows kids that it’s okay to not make your spouse be a priority. If your children don’t see you as a loving team that’s working together, then you are teaching your kids that it’s okay to take your spouse for granted.

When you prioritize “kid stuff” over making time for each other, it’s easy to forget that your spouse is more than just the parent or step-parent to your children. 

Your spouse is the one you are doing life with. Your spouse is your teammate. They are the ones that have your back. You can’t “get to them later,” you have to prioritize them now. 

Just because you have kids, doesn’t mean that the focus is only on the kids.

Everyone is busy. Everyone has distractions. Sometimes you have to get creative when it comes to reconnecting and staying connected as a couple. 

It’s so important that you don’t allow yourself to get so wrapped up during the child rearing years and forget that person that you committed too. Find ways to connect and stay connected!  Make your marriage a priority.

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