“When eagles are silent, parrots begin to chatter.” Winston Churchill

When life gets busy, it’s easy to let the thoughts of the day or even your inner voice impact your ability to be truly intimate. That “chatter” in your head can be loud. This noise becomes a distraction to intimacy and prevents you from being fully present with your spouse.  

So what are you supposed to do to break through that noise in your head and focus on intimacy? 

In every marriage, there will be times when one or both of you are being distracted or consumed with other things. Getting over the hurdle of that chatter so you can enjoy intimate times together can be as basic as stopping and asking what’s distracting you.

You may deal with negative thoughts or have allowed seeds of “I’m not good enough” enter your mind. Not only is that perfectly normal, but it’s happening to more people than you know. In a recent Instagram Story poll 3 in 4 people in the ONE family feel like that at various times in their marriage. 

This happens when you:

  • Felt past rejection or feel that you’re continually being rejected.
  • Feel overwhelmed at this moment.
  • Feel less than sexy in the skin you are in.
  • Have felt what you consider “shortcomings” pop up in your head. 

The chatter is taking you out of the game. That negative self-talk does not have to be a part of your life. Only you can decide that it is not going to hold you back. 

When you stop and become aware of your thoughts, you can figure out what’s going on in your head. You’ll be able to identify what’s keeping you from being in the moment. It’s human nature to overthink what you “think” you know. Because of this, it’s easy to create scenarios in our heads and our marriages that prevent us from moving forward. 

That chatter can stop when you decide that you are not going to let insecurities, a bad day at work or your post-baby body hold you back from the sexual connection with your spouse.

508: Mutual Masturbation


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