“Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice and is never the result of selfishness.” —Napoleon Hill

What do you think of when you hear “acts of love”? 

For some, it means sacrificing your comfort and loving in a way that your spouse needs even if it is different from your own. 

Others may see it as remembering your spouse’s birthday or doing the dishes when they are tired. 

The truth is giving in an act of love means you understand how your spouse needs to be loved. Those acts are given freely of you. 

This can be tough because we are naturally a little selfish by nature. We tend to focus on what we need first. In a relationship, it’s easy to become complacent. It’s easy to forget that others around you need things that are different from your own needs. 

What you may not realize is how these different acts of love impact your marriage each day.

We often speak of doing things in the name of love. And yet that does not always mean the same thing for each person. 

Caring for your spouse or making decisions based on love and from a faith perspective means you are providing love sacrificially to your spouse. 

As we all exist in the selfie/me culture of today it can be hard to shift your mindset to focus and live in a way that puts acts of love first.  

It means saying “I’ll love you more than I love myself” when you really need me too or “I’ll love you even when we’re in a situation where we may feel disconnected”. These are acts of love. 

Know that an act of love doesn’t mean that you are completely subservient to your spouse’s needs but rather that you are making a conscious choice to support and give to each other fully. 

It’s not about being a doormat it’s about choosing not to be selfish. 

If you are trying to wrap your head around how you can shift your mindset and embrace acts of love in your marriage, ask yourself where you currently are:

Do you love your spouse with sacrificial love? Love that conveys to them that you would do anything for them?

Or do you…

Love with a conditional love? One that says my love is based on circumstances or conditions.

You are not perfect so you won’t always get this right BUT if you are both willing to choose to love with sacrificial love your marriage will change.

Choosing acts of love when acts of discontent or disconnect would be easier is all about sacrificing your needs for those of your spouse.

523: Walking Our Faith: Part 1 — Getting Started

525: Walking Our Faith: Part 2 — Beliefs About Spiritual Intimacy

527: Walking Our Faith: Part 3 — Acts of Love

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Other Resources:

Called to Love: Experiencing Your Best Marriage Through the Words of Jesus

The Love Dare

Position of the Month Club

Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa

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