“To make progress you have to learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable.” —Anonymous
When the topic of sex comes up, how you talk about it more than likely depends on whom you are talking too. You talk about sex differently with friends than you do with your spouse or your kids. And yet, all of these are important conversations.
Now, talking about sex may still be one of those areas that is off-limits or even taboo to you. You’re not alone in your thinking!
Part of the problem is there is so much messaging that we receive growing up about sex:
- Men are always horny.
- Sex is dirty.
- Good girls don’t do that.
- Sex is only for making babies.
Depending on how you were raised, that list can be much longer. When creating an extraordinary marriage know that you need to talk about all aspects of your marriage including (and especially) sex.
There can be a lot of reasons why you avoid having these conversations. However, there is a very BIG reason why you shouldn’t ignore the topic of sex…a lack of conversation creates a void. When there is a void, there is an opportunity for temptation and destruction. No marriage needs that.
Even if you were raised in a home where sex was not discussed, know that a conversation is a form of communication which is skill-based action. That means you can learn how to have conversations about sex (or anything else) with practice.
So yes, you can learn to talk about sex.
Even if it’s just becoming MORE comfortable talking about sex, you’ll begin to realize that conversations like this make you a stronger couple. It’s okay not to be super comfortable at first as long as you keep trying.
Since you understand now that there is NOTHING that says married couples are not supposed to talk about sex, you’re ready to explore what it might look like when you do have conversations about sex.
What would happen if you could have a conversation about your desires?
What would shift if you could tell your spouse what you like or hear what they like?
Remember what gets unlocked when the sexual intimacy in your marriage experiences a breakthrough, is going to feel amazing.
Like with anything new in marriage, it’s not about crossing the finish line, it’s about taking the first step.
And you can do that.
Sex is important to your marriage. It’s not the only thing but it is A thing. It’s one of the ways the two of you connect at the core of who you are. It’s a time where you focus on each other.
You can talk about sex and it will create breakthrough in your marriage. The benefits and connection you’ll feel when you do will change the way you and your spouse feel when it comes to sex and everything else in between.
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