“It would be irresponsible in this day and age not to talk to our kids about sex.” —Katrina Farmer

There’s something that we, as the adults in the world need to work to change. We need to get comfortable about how to talk to our kids about sex.

Kids see sex on TV or movies, internet searches, and from friends that think they know all about it. 

According to the CDC, among US high school students surveyed in 2017:

  • 40% had sexual intercourse.
  • 10% had four or more sexual partners.
  • 30% had had sexual intercourse during the previous 3 months.
  • 46% did not use a condom the last time they had sex.
  • 14% did not use any method to prevent pregnancy.
  • 19% had drunk alcohol or used drugs before their last sexual intercourse.

Another study found that only 30% of the students reported that their parents talked to them about sex. That’s a problem. 

Kids are learning about sex, the question is who is teaching them?

More than likely, your parents did not talk to you about sex. You may have heard, don’t get a girl pregnant, but beyond that, nothing. 

It’s really hard to talk to your kids about this. You may feel completely like a deer in the headlights when you think about having to do this. 

Talking to your spouse about sex and what you need to say to your kids is a great way to become more comfortable. You can use 19 Questions to Amazing Sex to explore this together. Another option is to answer the questions around sexual intimacy in Connect Like You Did When You First Met.  

It can feel uncomfortable as you begin to discuss this topic. It also probably feels like something you need to do. So that’s why it’s so important to do it. When you work through this for yourself, you’ll have the confidence to do it with your kids. 

Then as your kids ask questions, answer them. Ask them “What do you think that is?” Be supportive but learn more by saying  “that’s a great question, where did you hear that?”

Also, know that this is not a one and done conversation. As their bodies change, as they go through puberty, as they start to date there will be so many opportunities to discuss this.

As for getting the conversation started, for some, it will happen via a book that you are sharing with them because it’s easy to use as a launching pad. Amazon is a great place to find one that’s right for you and your kids. 

For others, it will be when they ask you. And that is when you have your opening. 

Remember this, if you FREAK out they will never bring it up again. If you take a deep breath and collect your thoughts it could be one of the biggest ways to connect.

You’ve got this, even if you don’t feel like you do!

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Other Resources:

19 Questions to Amazing Sex

Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions for Couples

Position of the Month Club

Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa

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