“It’s a shame when things that are on your mind or in your heart never reach your lips.” —Anonymous
The power of dreaming is important not only to you but within your marriage.
As you move through the various seasons in your lives, there are many areas in which you need to dream again. For some of you, this desire to dream may stem around the emotional gap that many couples find themselves facing.
If you’ve ever felt like this, you’re not alone. In the ONE family 98% have wished at some point, that their emotional connection was stronger within their marriage. This means we all experience periods of disconnect.
Have you found that when you go out on a date with your spouse and see all of the other couples having a conversation and laughing, you feel at a loss? When it comes to the two of you, do you find you’re staring at your phones more than conversing with each other?
You might say to your spouse “I wish that we could talk more”. When they say “What do you want to talk about?”, do you have an answer? You may know you want to connect but you just don’t know how. This is where the emotional gap begins.
You have all of these thoughts and feelings inside of you. However, you find that you keep stuffing them in because you don’t really know how your spouse might respond.
You may even wonder if you should even be feeling that way in the first place. That’s where you need to stop and take a step back.
Have you stopped to think (and not just complain) about what you want your conversations to look like? If not, this is your starting point. When you focus on complaints, you only add frustration. You also don’t solve the problem.
You have to know what works and what doesn’t work in your marriage. If you and your spouse need to plan a monthly or weekly time to talk, then do that. Identify what you’re best conversations have been in the past and what made them so perfect.
If there are roadblocks to creating communication, then it’s time to find out why. You both need to know what makes the two of you feel safe to open up. If there are topics that you can’t seem to tackle then now is the time to find out why.
When you begin to bridge that emotional gap and begin to explore the things that have stopped being, said that gap will quickly fade away. When conversations move from the point of just sitting at the surface or being filled with words that are said with anger, bitterness or resentment, intimacy is built.
Communication is a learned skill. You can change by committing to learning how. Hurts can be healed for the two of you, which can bridge the emotional gap that will bring you together to dream again.
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