“I already have what I want for Christmas and it’s you.” —Anonymous
Happy Holidays! During this time of year, you are rewarded with lot’s of good cheer as well as a host of distractions that can cause sex to take a back seat to all of the other must dos.
You’ve got to shop, there are parties, putting up the tree, gift wrapping, holiday plays and concerts, traditions and holidays movies. Depending on how “festive” you are, the list can go on and on.
This can cause your sex life to go on an extended Christmas break.
If you’ve felt like this during this festive season, you’re not alone. 75% of the ONE family feels like they have challenges with intimacy during the holiday season.
That’s a lot of people not making the most of the spirit of the season.
December is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year! It’s twinkling lights, Christmas songs and stockings hung by the fire for goodness sake.
So what are you supposed to do when all you feel is overwhelmed? What about cranky, tired and just plain over it all?
First, let’s talk about why the most wonderful time of the year is making you feel more disconnected. More than likely it has a lot to do with:
- Travel and being away from home more
- Kids (behavior/being home more/not sleeping well)
- Staying with relatives OR relatives staying with you
- Longer work hours to provide for the holidays
- All the extra obligations and expectations the holidays bring
This is also a time of year when you may feel like you’re in “survival mode”. You keep telling yourself you simply need to get through the season and then it will be okay.
Here’s the truth. All of this is pressure YOU are placing on yourself.
What you are doing now is actually setting the tone for the beginning of the new year. A year you will be spending together.
This time of year is an opportunity to show yourself that you can make your marriage a priority EVEN when there is a lot on your plate.
Start by asking yourself, how the two of you can make your holiday sex a priority during this time of year? It might mean having a conversation about what the Intimacy Lifestyle is going to look like right now.
Do you need to set sexpectations while traveling? Discuss why you really should say no to that Christmas party or that you don’t “need” to stuff yourself at every meal.
What decisions can you choose to make your marriage and especially your sexual intimacy a priority?
Need a few ideas: How about sneaking away to have holiday sex during festivities or
showing up late to that workplace party? Maybe planning to wrap gifts together in something a little sexy? How about going away from tradition and focusing on fun rather than perfection?
The holidays are here and they are not going away. So take back the season and give yourself the gift of holiday sex!
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