“Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it’s the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it’s almost breathtaking to the point that you feel that you can’t take it and at that moment you are a part of them.” —Thom York
We’ve talked a lot about your dreams and how they can work to build your emotional intimacy and your recreational intimacy. Now it’s time to focus on those dreams that deal with something a little more personal.
Specifically the dreams that you have to be physical together.
Being physical together can happen in two ways. The first is activities that you enjoy doing together of a physical nature like hiking, walks or bike riding.
The other is more than likely what you think of when you hear “physical relationship”. It’s the sexual connection that the two of you have.
Seventy-eight percent of the ONE family say that their marriage IS not as physical as they expected it to be or as they dreamed it would be.
For many, sex was exciting and new in the beginning but now, not so much. So what you expected isn’t happening so it’s up to you to find out why.
It happens for many reasons but most likely you didn’t ever think that you’d have issues with your sex life. Now that it’s happening, you don’t know what to do next. You expected that you’d be compatible for life and that your desires would always be aligned.
No one thinks things will change. Until they do.
There is a dream inside of you and your spouse for what you want the physical side of your marriage to look like. You just need to know what it is that you want.
Your dream of being physical with your spouse is not going to look like your friend’s dream. That’s normal. What’s most important is to know what your dream is.
It may be:
- More kissing
- More cuddling
- Intentional touch
- Making out
- Slow dancing
It’s good to know that what you and your spouse need may also be different. Just because it’s different, doesn’t mean that it’s any less important for either of you. These dreams are yours and not anyone else’s.
Touch is so important. There are countless studies on the importance of touch. Because of this, touch matters in your marriage. If you want to learn more, check out the 6 Benefits of Cuddling.
Cuddling reduces blood pressure and stress. It can also increase satisfaction both in life and in your relationship. Cuddling also can help you sleep better.
When envisioning what your dream for physical intimacy is with your spouse, begin by discussing what touches matter to you? You may also want to express how much or how little brings you the most satisfaction.
Don’t forget that your spouse’s dream of when it comes to physical intimacy may be different than yours. If you don’t know your spouse’s dream then it’s time to ask.
If you don’t know where to start, you may want to get a coach involved. Building this type of intimacy is so important so if you need help, ask.
Dreams don’t have to be ignored. They also don’t need to be put on the back burner because it’s been so long. You can rediscover your physical intimacy dreams. It’s time for you to refocus and make your dreams come true.
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