“Strive for continuous improvement instead of perfection.” —Kim Collins

handle things

When discussing conflict, it’s impossible to avoid taking a moment to discuss the person that stares back at you in the mirror: YOU.

It’s easier to look at others in our lives and know what you want or need them to change. It’s not always the case that we look at ourselves as the source of change needed in our relationships. 

Self-reflection can be huge. 

Since the only one that can change you is you, it’s time to take stock and see how your behaviors are impacting your marriage. 

Have you ever stopped to think about how you present yourself during times of conflict?

Take a minute to explore what your life looks like from the outside as if you were watching a TV show. What do you sound like when you talk to your spouse? What does your face look like?

Stop for a second and think about that image. Are you as effective as you can be when talking with your spouse?

Sometimes managing conflict is simply about clarifying what you mean and being patient with your spouse. 

Drama is great to watch in a movie, but it’s much harder to deal with face-to-face. So stop and ask yourself: Why am I reacting this way? What do I hope to achieve? 

You may find that you are the one bringing the drama to your conversations without even realizing it. When you reflect on how you communicate, do you realize you immediately go to hurtful blows or nasty words? Have you asked yourself why? 

When you stop and view how you react when faced with conflict, you may quickly realize that you simply need a new script for conflict management. 

Although there are many strategies for managing conflict, it’s important that you take time to reflect on what works best for you. If coaching is the answer, learn more now and give it a try!

569: Dealing with Conflict: Part 1 — What Are We Fighting About

571: Dealing with Conflict: Part 2 — I Wish You Would Just…

573: Dealing with Conflict: Part 3 — How I Handle Things

575: Dealing with Conflict: Part 4 — Our Conflict Plan

***If you’re experiencing emotional or physical abuse please call or contact the agencies below for assistance.

Women call:

US: Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233
UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247.
Australia: Call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732.
Worldwide: Visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of helplines and crisis centers.

Men call:

UK: Call the ManKind Initiative at 01823 334244
Australia: Visit One in Three Campaign

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